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male
age
51-59,
*iraffee39
writes: I need some advice from a womans point of viewI met this woman almost 2 years ago, the first year we became very good friends. After the first year we became very close and fell deeply in love. and for the past year everything was perfect. I thought i found my soul mate.So a month ago i asked her to marry me, she cried and said yes, there was nothing in the world she wanted more. So after this things began to change, she didnt call as much, she didnt want to spend time with me and when we did, it was like i wasnt even there. But when i asked her to marry me i told her i wanted her to go the rest of her life with a smile on her face. so this went on for a few weeks, everytime we got together i wasnt treated very well at all, soi told her thats was the reason i left my ex wife, because life is to short to be unhappy.But it continued, i tried talking to her about it but she didnt want to talk about it. I decided to let her go and told her this in a moment of frustration, i told her to keep the ring as a parting gift, after a couple of days i had realized i made a huge mistake and tried to tell her this by sending flowers and all the other i am sorry stuff from men. She wouldnt accept none of it told me i had acted just like her old ex that had treated her so bad.But doesnt all the good times we shared and the whole year not one disaggreement doesnt that mean anything, and i told her it was a one time thing for me because of what has happened and everything getting to me. And she knows that i am not like that and doesnt go out to hurt someones feeling on purpose.And to top it all of she is pregnant with my baby, we talked before this and she told me she was so angry at me for saying that it would take a long time for her to get back to normal, but i continued to tell her i was sorry and told her i want her back but all i got from her was that i made the decision for both of us, not her and oh well. Also saying to me i dont when or if at all but i do know that she was so deeply in love with me, and how can this change in a month, i will never understand this.and besides this i am a little older than her, so to me this is very immature to me to end something so good over some childish words on my part. and i also told her it but the same oh well, you made your bed you stay in it. I just dont understand and would like any advice at all. i have not spoken to her in a week.
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ex-wife, flowers, immature, my ex, soulmate Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kath +, writes (10 January 2007):
 you are in a bit of a mess, I think she is trying to push you to the limmit, in your letter you mention all that you've done flowers ect... and sure you have both said things that you both didnt mean in arguments but she has come off at the top and left you. you need to get your life back on the track and do the things in life that you injoy and keeps you happy, if she has fealings for you she will soon be trying to get you back. if this is too drastic for you then exsplain that you are not her ex boyfriend that treated her bad your the guy that will want love care and look after her for the rest of your lives but i think in time if you are ment to be together you will be. good luck x
A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 You don't say how long you haven't spoken to her for, but she sounds pretty angry. Get married is a big commitment, maybe you were a bit full on with how youfelt about her nad maybe she needed a little space to think things through. Your angry at her about her actions right now and she's angry at you for the words you said. Give her a little space a couple of weeks maybe and then ask her if you 2 could meet up because you want to talk things through with her. She is probably feeling a little emotional and confused right now which is normal when you first get pregnant.
Don't give up just yet, take things slow, don't pressure her, and keep trying she might think that you gave up on her to easily with the things you said so you'd have to try extra hard to make her see how much you love her. I hope you manage to gain her trust again let me know what happens, Good Luck!
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