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After I dumped her, she said that having sex with me is a bad idea and I couldn't handle her anyway. What do I believe?

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Question - (3 August 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 August 2008)
A male United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

My girlfriend told me she wanted to have sex with me several weeks ago. I ended up dumping her for another girl that I like but still like my other girlfriend. Now she says to me that having sex with me is a bad idea and I couldn't handle her anyway. So now what should I think about that? She hasn't talked to me since I dumped her. What do I believe?

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (3 August 2008):

If she's not talking to you and thinks having sex with you is a "bad idea" then that's what it is, plain and simple. It isn't a "no means yes" type of deal or some secret message. She knows that you two are no longer together and just having casual sex will only make things harder instead of being able to get over you. Sometimes the best thing to do is to have no communication or contact; makes healing easier.

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A female reader, bemused Canada +, writes (3 August 2008):

bemused agony auntHi there

Given the turn of events, are you surprised that your ex girlfriend has cut the ties with you. Really, you rejected her twice, once when you turned her down when she wanted to move on to a sexual relationship and then when you immediately moved on to someone else. Seriously, what self respecting woman would want to come back for what...count em...a third rejection.

You should stop calling her girlfriend. She is no such thing anymore as you now have someone else. Sounds to me like you were pretty sure of her, counted on her as a sure thing and you treated her dismissively.

Good for her for moving on and not giving you the time of day. You had your chance my friend...looks to me like you may not get another. Also, what about this other girl you are now with...what of her feelings.

I would suggest, for all it is worth that if you still like the first girl...perhaps be single for awhile and let her know this. I would not hold out much hope though and you will alienate both girls in the process.

You sound a little insenstive but not malicious in your post...perhaps not really understanding womens feelings.

I wish you the best and hope you get everything sorted.

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