A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiI split with my partner of 18 months last week. The relationship had been on the rocks for months and it was a mutual decision to split because he has a child from another relationship and I wasn't happy with this. We were arguing daily right up until the split and I'd resigned myself to the fact we were going to split up anyway. For the first few days I took it fine and it didn't really bother me. I have now become so angry and resentful towards him. I have been very upset and crying all the time. He seems like he isn't even bothered and has been out with his nephew drinking etc. We have been texting and ringing each other all the time. I'm not sure whether this is right or wrong. It feels so drastic to just stop all communication altogether. I just can't help hating him right now. I feel like I've been left on my own (I live alone) and he has all his family around him and his daughter to look after. Why am I feeling like this? What can I do to feel better? At the moment I feel like I'm going out of my mind. I only have one close friend who has txt me a couple of times but doesn't really seem too concerned (she has her own life she is a single mother).I hate putting on people and off-loading my problems.
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female
reader, Nala19  +, writes (19 July 2009):
 I Know what its like to be so angry n sad after a messy break up. Its gonna take time to heal,don't hold back any tears.your ex can't handle the reality of the break thus leading him to alcohol.Get plenty of sleepExcerisedo something you've always wanted to try.Trust me this will help u move on with your life.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (19 July 2009):
 You two decided to split, so he lives his life and you live yours. You were fine too for a few days. With splitting up, you can't have hate toward him due to your loneliness.
Your being angry with him having a child wasn't proper for building a relationship with him. For any parent, their child should come before a new relationship. Why do you get angry at people for what you don't have? Build off what you do, instead of dwelling on what you don't. It doesn't matter how he moves on, what matters is how you do. It seems as if you want him to hurt and be angry, because you are. Just as you're choosing how to deal with this, he has the same right. You can't dictate how he exercises this right, just as he can't with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): All your feelings right now are valid after a break up. Believe me, no break-up is pain-free whether for men or women. Your ex might look fine but you mentioned he is going out to drink. This is an indication that he is not happy about the break-up too. Unfortunately, men are better in hiding emotions than us. At least generally. So don't believe too much that he looks fine.
Just give it sometime and you will be okay.
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