A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel really bad writing this but I need some advice :( me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 months and he has never made me come once :/ i know that sounds horrible and selfish but he doesnt even try.He asks for sex and if i want it too il say yes, doesnt even try to turn me on (kissing etc) never touches me, just has sex which lasts a few mins then gets dressed and fucks off :/He says he doesnt like touching down there, doesnt like the feel of it but im getting bored with it now :( everytime we have sex its just the same.Iv heard of people having sex for hours and i dunno if its true or not but im sure it gets better than this :/Thing is i dont know how to tell him, i dont know if im out of order or not :( help please Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (30 March 2012):
 I left a husband after we had two babies together... of course you can leave...
A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (29 March 2012):
 OP, of course you can leave - unless all you are staying for is for him to pay the bills? A rather mercenary reason.
Think more of your emotional life instead, which you haven't got at the moment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone :)
thing is we were together for 7 months and I was pregnant from this, we had a break and are now back together so we have a baby together so i cant just leave :(
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A
male
reader, Cole Turner  +, writes (28 March 2012):
 Lots of young guys do not think about their partners, they just want the sex and then go! Try introducing a little foreplay to you relationship, dress up etc etc.
keep him from penetrating you for as long as possible, and try to encourage him to touch you and excite you! You will need to take the dominant role at first as it seems he is a little lacking of knowledge on how to pleasure women. Sex becomes very boring without passion, without spice and without variety. And sex should not be just the physical act ... you should spend time exploring and teasing one another before intercourse takes place. Encourage touching and playing and eventually he may begin to understand your needs in the bedroom rather than just fulfilling his own.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 March 2012):
ah you my dear are his "handy penis holder"
I feel your pain.. .my partner is not a great one in bed BUT he makes up for it on many levels. he will gladly touch me "down there"... he loves to hug me kiss me, grab me... fondle me... he TRIES so hard to please me....
1. the fact that your partner does not even TRY is STRIKE ONE
2. He doesn't like touching down there? WTF? (facepalm) but it's ok for him to insert his penis into "down there" (is it magical????) STRIKE TWO
3. does not indulge in foreplay and trying to turn you on
STRIKE THREE
sex for hours is highly over-rated...
sex from intercourse is also IMO highly over rated.
love and affection are grossly UNDER rated.. and under utilized.
suggestion.. talk to your bf about this but do not expect much in the way of improvement.... be prepared to have to leave.... being this miserable 8 months into a relationship about your sex life does NOT bode well for long term continuation of said relationship.
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (28 March 2012):
You are NOT out of order; he is using you as a "hole in the mattress"!
If that's all he wants, tell him to go and have a wank, the selfish pig. If he is in the 18-21 age bracket, he should have learned a bit about women and their bodies by now.
He must be an idiot not to like kissing and cuddling: it makes sex SO much nicer and steps up the level of intimacy.
I have no recommendations, other than replacing him with someone who knows and cares. Someone older?
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