A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Does he still have feelings for his exMy partner has been with me go 2 and a half years. Before me he was with somebody else for 7 years and had 2 children with her. I found out after he was with me that he left her and the children for me although he told me he had split from her a year before we met. I asked him if it was true and he got angry with me. I've always encouraged him to see his children but she makes it difficult for him saying that he should have supervised visits cos they don't know him anymore. She gets half his monthly wages in child support. She inboxed him asking why he left her as she thought they were "kinda ok" whatever that means. He used to call me by her name and when I pulled him up about it he said I was mistaken. He tells me not to do stuff because she used to do it. He doesn't like me to wear green as it was her favourite colour. He doesn't want me to cut my hair because she had her hair short. It's been years and he still doesn't like me saying or doing certain stuff because of her. He's been begging for us to have a baby since we got together and I've always said no and insisted on protection as he seems to still love her or something. Now somehow I'm pregnant and he says he's happy but acts like a stranger and won't make love anymore.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2013): You're a woman in her thirties and should have known better.
You're now facing your karma for breaking up a marriage. I'm sorry, I don't believe one word about you thinking he left his wife sooner. That was thrown in there to clean it up.
You're mature enough to suspect if someone may still be married. He has to be home with his family sometime. No married woman gives a man so much freedom he can carry on a full-time relationship somewhere else. You knew and waited.
You're pregnant. Somehow???
It's now after the fact. I think you know how you got pregnant. I assume it would be his. He has to pay child-support, leaving him barely enough to survive on. Then you get pregnant too?
If you were a younger woman, I'd attribute this lack of wisdom to youth and inexperience. That isn't the case at all. You just had to have this man. You threw all caution to the wind.
You recklessly went after a man. You just had to have him under any condition, and at any cost. Well this is how it ends. Is it worth it?
Go get the legal documents filed to get the other half of his income to help you support your child. He's done with you.
Sorry to come down so hard. You just have to face the reality of things. My heart goes out to you.
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