A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i'm a 20 year old male. I'm a virgin, and would say i've never really been in a real relationship. In every potential relationship i've ever been looking towards getting in, the girl in question has constantly picked someone else over me. At first i thought little of this, as a few times is hardly anything. However, it has now become a serious issue for me, to the extent that i'm seriously afraid of being hurt everytime i talk to someone i'm interested in now, this has had a huge knock on my self confidence and i don't know what to do anymore.
View related questions:
confidence Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (21 May 2010):
 Red Green makes an excellent suggestion. Do what he says and also broaden your social circle. Join some clubs and special interest groups in things that you enjoy and meet some chicks that are in to the things you are in to.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2010): Why did they choose someone else? Because that's horrible.
...............................
A
male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (21 May 2010):
Well... from my personal experience, you can continue on the way your are, or simply get fed up with it, decide that you're the only thing in our own way and decide to change. I went though high school and 2 years of college this way, then basically woke up and realized that my outlook was coloring how people saw me. I was distant and trying to not be venerable. What I found out was that girls didn't find this attractive. I worked on my self confidence, and my appearance and came back to college with a new outlook. Had a girl friend in about 6 weeks, regular sex about 3 weeks after that. We dated about 1.5 years, and today I'm married to a wonderful woman.
My advice, do the (sometimes hard) work to stop trying not to be hurt. To live life and enjoy bliss, your going to have to open yourself up to feeling pain every once and a while. But what I discovered was that my fear of pain was 1,000 worse than the pain... I was hurting myself tons more than anyone could (or would) ever.
You're entering what should be one of (not the ONLY) best times of your life- go easy on yourself, and let others love you!
...............................
|
