A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My gf and i have been dating for a year and a half. Im 26, shes 24. She has a 2 year old daughter. We were just friends when she fell pregnant, but the child's father wanted nothing to do with her once he found out she was pregnant. So i have been there since she was born. I would visit her and the little one a lot and we grew close to each other. When she was 8 months old we decided to start dating. She is now 2 years old and we are very close to each other. She calls me uncle though, i never reprimand her, or spank her when she does something wrong, because obviously im not her father and i dont want my girlfriend to say, dont hit her, shes not your child or you not her father. Recently we've been talking about marriage. When we do get married she will become my child under my surname when i adopt her, then she would have to call me daddy, and i would have to start reprimanding her or spanking her and start being a father. My question is, how is this transition gonna take place, how would she recieve it, what if she rejects me as her father, what if i reprimand her and she tells me i cant tell her what to do, im not her father. How would i overcome this potential problem. Please help. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): I would postpone adopting her until several years have gone by. Don't make it too easy for your girlfriend. What if the marriage fails or she has an affair. If you adopt her prematurely you will be stuck with the support payments and no spouse.
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