A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for around 2 years. We are both homosexual men and throughout I firmly believe we have both been faithful and can 100% say I have. I'm stuck right now. Over the past few days my partner has developed symptoms of either a UTI or an STI (excessive peeing, burning pee, discharge etc). He has convinced himself that I've given him an STI. I believe him when he tells me he had not slept with someone else (it took me time to build up trust in him but I'm proud of how much I can trust him)... his reaction to the symptoms and conversations we have had about it only further my trust in him.The problem I am having is he doesn't trust me when I tell him I have not slept with anyone else. We have both done tests and are waiting for a week for the results, but the dynamic between us over message is excruciating for me. He is clearly off with me and when I try and offer support or say I wish I could help - I get digs back like "you shouldn't have given it to me"...I understand his inability to trust as his former relationship had a lot of cheating on both sides, whereas my former I didn't cheat in the full 10 year span of it either.Until results come in I just want him to trust me in the same way I trust him but he won't and its killing me inside. That being said I can see it from his view.Am I being unreasonable taking it so badly that he will not take my word for it that I have not cheated?
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female
reader, RitaBrown +, writes (5 April 2023):
So did all the results come in? How are things now?
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (2 April 2023):
 "Until results come in I just want him to trust me in the same way I trust him but he won't and its killing me inside. That being said I can see it from his view."
You can't do anything to MAKE him trust you. Even being faithful, honest, and trustworthy doesn't mean HE will trust you.
I would just tell him: "YOu have every right to feel the way you do, I'm getting tested to show you I didn't pass anything on to you."
I will say this though... People who accuse others of cheating ARE often the ones who cheated.
So there is that to consider.
Let's say HE tests positive for an STI and you don't - then what?
Because there are some that you can pass on while showing no obvious symptoms but... In order to pass them on, you kinda have to have them, right?
"He is clearly off with me and when I try and offer support or say I wish I could help - I get digs back like "you shouldn't have given it to me"..."
Are you really OK with someone treating you like this?
And let's say it's a UTI and only he has it - that doesn't mean cheating BUT he CHOSE to accuse you. Having been cheated on in the past is NO excuse for his behavior. It doesn't OK it.
I'd probably give him some space until the results and take a hard long look back at HIS behavior towards you.
I'd BE pissed if my partner accused me of cheating when I know I NEVER did that.
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