A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:As we all know, you are not going to get along with your family all the time but still, that's no excuse for to do this.... I have been verbally abused all my life by a family member. She has physically assaulted me and my mother has just let it continue. Very recently, I found out she has been reading my diary. Whenever I wasn't home or wasn't in the room, because we share rooms, she would go through my things and read it. It was hidden and she went through all the trouble to find it. She tells me this in the heat of an argument we're having. I become livid. While my mom is in the middle of watching us fight and not do anything. This family member tells me everything she's read and TRIES to use it against me to make herslef feel better. I am angry because that's a violation. She's been reading my PRIVATE thoughts for months. She had no shame either. She told my mom what I wrote and she tried to use it against me. She's cursing me out. Using every derogatory word there is in the book and just bringing me down. I was so angry, I was going to hit her while I was arguing with her. She sees it though and backs away on her bed before I could decide to. She moves out the next day with her boyfriend. I am determined to get her back. She thinks shes safe. My question is to you guys "Would you just let something like this goooo?" Someone that is your blood. That is supposed to have your back? I guess if you knew what she read you guys would be IRATE too so I can understand why it would be hard to understand it fully. But I want to know if you think I should let what she did go or make her pay. I know what people say about karma and revenge but karma is taking too long. Please write something that makes sense and explain to me exactly why as though you were me. Thanks guys.
View related questions:
revenge Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (13 June 2011):
 You have a fabulous way of looking at this situation, I love it! Like you said...if they didn't care..why were they looking? You see..that actually does put you in control. You hang in there, I can tell you're going to be fine. I'm glad if I helped you...take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWOWWW! I would and actually do feel so betrayed by what she did and I feel sorry for them. All of them. I feel sorry that they had not much of a life to read our diaries to begin with. We should feel flattered in a way. Even though they are bums and no lifes and losers, they cared enough about us to see what was going on in our lives because if you don't give a fuck about somebody, you are not reading anything about them because you don't care. It was there twisted fucked up way of letting us know that they care about us. They are dysfunctional for the way they went about it and they will have to live with what they did for the rest of there time here on this earth but I feel good that they actually went through all of this trouble just to "figure me out". It makes me feel important and powerful and almost celebrity like LOL. We had fans reading our work and commenting on it like it was up for review in the New York Times, lmaoo. They automatically put us above them by stooping so low and doing so so devious and evil. Lml. They have to live with themselves. I have great pity for them all. I don't know about you but I'm glad they read it. And I feel better that they actually did read it. It gives me a sense of empowerment. I can't really describe it. At first I was pissed but now I just know that I have the upper hand. We both do and will continue to as long as they have to live with what they did. lml. lol. It was great talking to you. I'm glad I ran into someone that went through something as similar as I did and I'm glad you were courageous enough to share it with me. :) Whooo! More power to us.
...............................
A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (11 June 2011):
This is kind of complicated, but I'll try to keep it as simple as possible. At 45, I had moved back home with my parents temporarily because I was going through a divorce. I had my own bedroom, worked 2 jobs. While I was at work, my mom would go into my room and go through my things. How do I know? Because my sister actually seen my mother do it. My sister was disgusted and confronted my mom. My mom told her that (in her words).."its my right, she's living in my home, I need to know what is going on."...Disgusting, right? What did she think I was doing???? When I moved out, I told my mother that I had lost my respect for her, and she should be ashamed of herself.
Fast forward....6 years later, I had moved back to Florida and was living with my grown daughter (28) and her husband at her request. I had just been through an incredibly painful break up with my fiance of 7 years, and I was at my lowest. I kept my diary and expressed all my thoughts, feelings, hurt, ect...One night I came home at midnight, my daughter knocked on the door with her 6'7" husband (who's a state trooper), and they said "grandma told me to find your diary and read it to find out what you're really thinking...we both read it, and you need to leave".....
Uh yeah....Horrible huh? My daughter and her husband read about 100 pages (they told me they read the entire diary) of my most painful moments in the last year..and then said I had to leave because they didn't trust me...
Why? I don't know. That was 2 years ago, and I haven't spoken to my daughter since then. Horrible I know..but I can't get over the hurt and the pain.
Diaries are meant to be for one person..the writer ONLY. Reading another's diary is an invasion of privacy at the most highest degree.
I truly know how you feel, sweetie. Like I said, its just WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! But again...be the bigger person. I never told my mother or daughter exactly how angry and hurt I was because to me, I would just be stooping to their level. They both know deep down inside what they did was wrong. And so does your sister.
Move on and don't let it get to you. Some people have no sense of right and wrong sadly. I'm happy you will have your own room. That's extremely important. Everyone needs privacy and space. And remember to get a diary with a lock! LOL
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@mystiquek, many many many thanks, its nice that I am not the only one that went throught this with a family member lol or two in your case. How did you personally handle your oldest daughter though if you dont mind me askin? She is your child. Was she disciplined? As for your mom, there isn't much you can do to her but how did you let it go? I know I am better than that and you are right that is the most smeakiest and lowest thing a person can ever do and to admit it too?!?! It makes me angry all over again! Its a sign of disrespect for them to do that and not be discreet about it at least. But in fact, I am glad the leech told me bc even though we had a big fallout, sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together. Everything happens for a reason. If she hadn't read my diary, she would still be in the house in my room reading everything else I put in there afterwards and I wouldn't know anout it. LMAAAOOOOOO. I now realize that her dumbass was meant to tell me so she could kick herself out and finally rid me of all the negativity from my life. As I said to ampersand earlier, it is a good thing tht I am getting my own room. And after 21 years of NEVER having my own room to myself, lol. That may seem like nothing to some pple but when you have never had something before that you wanted and you finally get it, it's almost like eating ice cream for the very first time. Thank you so much for your comments guys.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ anonymous reader, thanks for the comment. I did plan on getting back at her however now that she is out of my life, I feel happy that I don't have to deal with her anymore BUT if she comes back, its on. :} Thanks and good luck to you too.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Amperand, thank you somuch for saying that. I have been putting the effort in to redecorating my room but not as enthusiastically as I should have, lol. I am slowly letting go and Im not as angry anymore, even though what happens haunts me in the middle of nowhere sometimes. I don't think she would care about the letter though. She's not human. She would just blame me for everything. That's what she does. She refuses to accept responsibility for her actions. I am going to try letting go of the anger I feel towards her because I don't want her to have any CONTROL over me like she used to. Now that tht NEGATIVITY is out of my life for good, I can rly look on the bright side of things like remodeling my room, lol. Thanks. :)
...............................
A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (10 June 2011):
I think reading a person's diary/journal is one of sneakiest and lowest things a person can do, especially if it happens to be a family member. I certainly know where you are coming from...I have had both my mother AND my grown daughter read my diary and then have the nerve to make comments about it! They both actually had the nerve to admit to it. And trust me, my diary was hidden..it wasn't like it was out in the open...so I know EXACTLY how you feel. Plain and simple, I find it to be a HUGE invasion of privacy, and just plain disgusting. With that all said though...be the bigger person. I know its hard to do, but in the end you will feel better. You don't really want to lower yourself to their standards do you? I really have never understand why a person thinks its ok to read someone else's very private intimate thoughts...I've just never understood it! But no matter how much you want to get back at your sis...you are better than that, trust me. To me, it just a complete lack of morales and maturity that she did that. I told my mother and daughter the same. They have to live with what they have done, as does your sister. Hold your head high, and let it go. It isn't worth the anger and all the bad feelings, trust me. BTW...get a diary you can lock next round...works wonders! LOL
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): Screw karma, she/he is a dumb b**ch. This is coming from someone who has had his sister do the same thing to him for years on end. Get her back!
She needs to learn her lesson that you cant go through life getting away with sneaking and invading peoples privacy to get her way. and her way is getting you in trouble. Get her back for me. I regret not getting back at my sister. Shes continued to this day. Dont let her get away with it. Get her back. For you. Good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@honeypie, first, thanks for answering my question by the way. You've given me a lot to think about. second, to answer your question, Im 21, she's 3-4 years older. Old enough to effin know better. I'm not sure if it will matter in 5 or 10 years. I would like to never see or think of her EVER again. Since we're fam tho. She will be brought into conversations and we will probably run into one another. She's abusive and I can't be around that type of negative energy. I think if I would have checked her, then she would learn that you can't get away with treating pple like this bc as I have said from my mom, growing up in my house, she has gotten away with alot. And it has always gone unnoticed and unpunished. Its as if she can do no wrong. So she continues to do what she does to every person she comes in contact with, eventually. You're right, I don't want to stoop down to her level however after all of these years, I have been strong. Never stoopin down to her level but when this happened I just SNAPPED!! I have had it at this point. I am more angry at myself because If she has gotten away with doing things to purposely harm pple all these years, why not go one step further and she has every single time. I figure, the only thing is to let her feel what it has been like for me and everyone else. I don't want to hold on to hostile emotions but as soon as I think about something positive, what happened in the past including this comes back to haunt me. I would like to rise above it but I have lost all interest in being civil.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 June 2011):
 First off, who is she? Your sister? Can you share some ages? How old is she and how old are you?
I'm guessing that it's your older sister? Am I right?
Honestly, I think your Mom didn't intervene in order to let the two of you sort it out, obviously you two fight a lot and have for a long long time. You mom might even pretend to ignore it. As a mom you can not be judge & jury every time your kids get into it. However, ignoring disrespectful behavior like this is not very unbias of her.
Look at yourself a minute. You were going to hit her, but she read your body language and "escaped". So she is verbally abusive and you retaliate with violence? Can you see what she is doing to you? Goading you? and can you see where you are going?
I understand you desire for revenge. And yes, Karma moved on her own speed in her own good time. You know the saying revenge is best served cold? Do you understand the meaning behind it? It means you wait, you cool down. Sometimes you will even find that revenge, is not really all that awesome or even useful. Why? Because YOU are the one carrying around all these hostile emotions and thoughts, they are making YOU into someone you may not be. Or at best, someone you don't WANT to be. If someone starts to verbally abuse you, you have a choice RIGHT THEN AND THERE. You can chose to walk away. You don't HAVE to stand there and take it.
Frankly, take a deep breath. Close you eyes and think on this. In 5 or 10 years will this matter?
And secondly, do you really want to stoop to her level?
...............................
|
