A
female
age
41-50,
*usbaby
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. We have a three year old child together. We fight constantly because I feel that by now I should have a engagemet ring and he says he's not ready for that. He says he loves me and doesn't want anyone else but I'm not getting any younger. Should I just leave or wait for him to come around? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dusbaby +, writes (7 April 2009):
Dusbaby is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would just like to know if I'm being selfish? It's been almost 5 years and I want a ring on my finger!! Is it selfish to say that if I dont get the ring by May (which is 5 years) to just leave and get on with my life elsewhere, or should I just keep hanging around?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2009): He's already got all the positives of a marriage and none of the expenses & legal obligations that go along with it. Why would he want to get married in his situation now?
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (19 March 2009):
 Well, personally I don't think your age has anything to do with marriage. I would be more concerned if you were 40 with no kids and no promises of marriage from him yet. But since you already have had a child, you still get to be 'young, cool mom'.
Doing things back wards is not a bad thing always. But if you really want to be married, and that is what you need from this relationship, then I would suggest couples counseling. If he doesn't already feel a strong sense of commitment after having a child, then you need to help him get to the bottom of his relationship issues.
I would say "Why fix what ain't broken", but this clearly upsets you. Get counseling, but in the meantime, be thankful your family is whole... no ring or license can validate that anymore than your love can.
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A
female
reader, tinkbomb  +, writes (19 March 2009):
i have got the sort of the same problem me and my bf have been together for jus over 2 years and also we have a lil girl ive said to him about marrige and he fobs me off that its not the right time in our lifes at the moment we live together have a family together how more right can it be im afraid that im giving up on my dreams and what i want out of life waiting for him im seriously considering finding someone that wants the same things in life as me y shuld be second best and give up on what you want out of life just coz hes not at that stage you need to have a serious talk to know weather marrige is on the aggender for the futer or not at all if its the later then find someone who wants what you want coz hes obviously not ur soulm8 x
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