A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I've listed the things my ex has done during our 6 month relationship. What would others say/do in response to this kind of behaviour?1. Leaving me outside in the cold waiting for him while he continued to drink with mates and ignore me.2. Repeatedly saying he’d meet me somewhere and wouldn’t show up/wouldn’t leave the pub/ignore text messages and calls.3. Had a drinking session at his house and his former ‘sex buddy’ was there and I wasn’t.4. Taking half an hour to come and speak to me at a mutual friends 30th.5. Spending more time with me/talking to me in public when we were just mates than when we were actually a couple.6. Never told me how he felt about me.7. Never said once “you like nice” or “you’re gorgeous”.8. Offered to help me move house but went on a bender instead.9. Said he got dragged out of the house and onto a bucks day bus when in fact he drove to the bus willingly and it was a hens day bus. He was there with two other guys, the rest girls.10. Not inviting me to things like he did at the start of the relationship and even when we were just mates.11. Even if he’d done something wrong I had to chase him for an apology, every time.12. Going on weekend long benders and not answering his phone.13. Telling me he’d come to my house when he left the pub. Instead staying god knows where and not coming home at all.14. I had to invite myself to a lot of things in the end.15. Telling me he’d come to the airport with me to pick up family. Then using some lame excuse as to why he couldn’t. Then later saying he was only joking when he told me he’d come in the first place.16. Telling me he needed time to himself to sort out everything going on in his life but still had time to spend with mates.17. Other people telling me we weren’t together even though I had no idea.18. Repeatedly telling me he wanted a girlfriend and he just needed some time to himself.19. Only after me pushing him and asking him for the truth did he admit he didn’t have time for a girlfriend.20. Telling me he really likes me but he just can’t do it at the moment. He’s doing it for me so I don’t get shitty and angry down the track.21. Telling me how hard it was to do and he really wanted to be with me.22. Telling me all of this in a text message.23. One week later still haven’t received a call or a visit to discuss/see how I’m going.24. Chased me for months and months and months only to treat me like garbage (not all of the time but enough).
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): He has contacted me though, asked me directions as he was running late for work one morning. Idiot..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): Oh can I just explain that he actually dumped me after me not hearing from him all weekend and asking what the hell was going on just be honest. He did it in a text message and his justification was that he wouldn;t have been able to come and see me for a few days and I'd asked him what was on his mind now. Charming!
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A
female
reader, Princess Aunty  +, writes (30 November 2010):
here's is my point of view. for the question :-
1. It seems that alcohol and his mates are more important for him rather than you. For he accepted to leave you in the cold just for these things...
2. I don't think he gives you any priorities in his life. only his amusement and fun are more important. i mean if he really wanted to meet you he would do anything to meet you somewhere leaving behind everything even the things he likes the most.
3. Now he does not even consider you to form part of his get-together but he did not forget to ask his sex buddy to come. seems he does not care for you at all.
4. Hmmm well in this case he might have been stuck up in something i think but it does not prevent a wrong impression as well that he was not impatient to meet you.
5. maybe when you was only his mates he was trying to impress you so that you does not deny his proposal. once he has get you not its all over.
well i have considered other points as well but it seems he does not care about you at all. don't ever re think about getting back to him. just forget him. you are going to get someone better than him. now please move on with life
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (30 November 2010):
 I was about to respond with the standard "forget about this loser", but I re-read the list, and something jumped out at me.
6 of those 24 reasons have something in common.
5 more are definite side effects of the same "something in common".
Your ex is an absolute raging alcoholic. Alcohol has consumed him. That's a prime reason he chased you down and then started disconnecting from the relationship.
Weekend benders?? Leaving you at a pub? Staying there all night? Having drinking sessions at his house with "sex friends"?
You're pretty damn lucky that you got away from him after 6 months. This guy was dragging you down, sucking away your future and your happiness like a damn vampire.
You should be having a party and shouting from the rooftops that this guy is out of your life. He is going to lose his looks, be old before his time, and die miserable and alone if he doesn't turn his life around.
YOU should re-think what attracts you to guys. Do not go for the fixer-uppers. Be as choosy about a guy as you would for a $3,000 purse. Leave the alcoholics alone. HE is human garbage, not you.
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A
female
reader, bernergirl +, writes (30 November 2010):
 Okay they are crappy things to do to anyone. He obviously has other priorities other than you (which is wrong). But stop making lists. Especially lists this long. Allow for one thing a month. But this is way too much time and effort for you to be concerned about. He will either get it or not but either way you can do better. Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (30 November 2010):
 These 24 crappy things he has done to you are 24 reasons reminding you why you broke up with him. Move on, there's no need to take him back and 24 more to the list.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (30 November 2010):
 Accept what has happened, do not bother expecting any form of contact from him, do not bother contacting him. He is out of your life, it might as well stay that way.
I hope that helps.
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