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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 20 years old and I am ready to have a baby. My fiance is 24 and he says that I am to young. I know that it would possibly be better if I wait but I want one now. I have always been around kids and now that I'm moved out of the house and everything I feel lonely. I always took care of my little sister like she was my kid b/c she just didn't want anything to do with my mom. I've tried to explain the many reasons to my fiance why I think we should have a child. My younger siblings don't have a great childhood b/c they where born later in life. All of our grandparents are deceased and ma and pa are getting too old to do anything w/them. I just want to have kids while I'm young enough to do things with them and so they can enjoy having grandparents. If you have any advice I would appriciate it. Thanks in advance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone.
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (17 September 2010):
 Either way, I think you should wait a few years. At 25 or so you'll not only still be young enough to keep up with a child, but also have a bit more experience in life. You'd be amazed what a difference five years can make, especially in your 20's.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's not the only reason's I want a child. I just LOVE being around kids and I don't enjoy going out with friends or anything that much. I'm ready to settle down. When I'm watching my little niece or nephew it kills me to let them go home. I don't know exactly how to explain that I'm ready but I know I am. I just also know that my fiance isn't..
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (17 September 2010):
You may think you're ready, but you're not, because it doesn't sound like you want children for the right reasons. Loneliness isn't a valid reason, and your fiance isn't ready for a baby yet anyway.
Having a child changes everything. You won't have any time for yourself, barely any time for your fiance, and you can forget about going out with friends whenever you like. You may think you're lonely now, but just wait until you have a baby to take care of at home while everyone else is going on with their own lives.
Being a mother is a 24 hours/7 days a week job, are you sure you're ready for it?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2010): I'd say go for it. If you don't know by 20 if you wanna have kids at some point or not.
Hell people as far back the 60's were having kids far younger and... its not like the world ended.
Besides, too many people leave it too late and end up not being able to conceive because they no longer have a body that is able to procreate because for women... that dies with age.
Flynn 24
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 September 2010):
 You having taken care for your younger sister for years is not a reason for why you should have children. That is however an experience that makes you confident you will be a good mother. Which is good and all, but being a good mother is not really a reason to have a child. Being lonely is not really a reason either. Maybe your fiancee is scared that you want a child for the wrong reasons. You could still afford to wait some years before you would be "too old" to put it that way. You could actually afford to wait 10 more years. So don't stress it. But, if you are ready to have a child, and you feel ready, that is what you should tell your fiancee. But then remember, he needs to feel ready as well. And Im thinking maybe he isn't.
Hows his education, does he have a steady job, decent income, and how about your education, job, income? Look at the practical things too. Then talk to your fiancee about it again, and make sure you both have enough time to have a good lengthy conversation about this. But, if he isn't ready now, you could maybe try and settle with the idea of waiting a few more years?
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