A
male
age
16-17,
Ashley !!!
writes:I'm 16 years old, And to be honest have never really had a proper relationship.. Ive had a lot of lasses like me and ive liked them only to find my heart be broken at the last minute.. Lots of lasses tell me that im too nice.. Is this possible??HELP. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): i'm 18 and never had a real relationship...broken heart? tell me about it! i can think of 500000 ways in which different guys broke my heart...and i have loads of lads as friends!all they can see me being is their friend...even if i feel differently.i don't understand why that is either.
A
female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (7 December 2007):
 What do you mean, too nice? I don't think there is such thing, in the literal sense of the word. Now, if it seems like you have no opinions or interests because you're always saying, "I dunno, what do you want to do?" or "I never thought about it, what do you think?" then I wouldn't call that too nice ... I would call that lack of personality.
So...what is it that you do, that makes you too nice? If you are hesitant to show the real you because you think you'll be criticized, that's disconcerting. People want to 'know' people, especially significant others! So, put yourself out there. What kind of music do you like? What kind of books/movies interest you? What do you do in your 'off' time? How would people define you? You don't have to answer these questions to me; I want you to answer them to yourself, and do you express yourself to others?
Also, sadly, it is true that girls often go after the bad boys. Do you know why? They're not sexier or anything like that. It's the 'challenge'. If he's a bad ass on the outside but she thinks she can melt his heart, than that must make her some kind of powerful female. Crazy, I know. But that's how a lot of females think. The truth is, you don't want to hook up with one of them anyway, because those kind tend to be addicted to drama. Blech! I don't want to hang out with drama queens ... and I'm a female! Trust me, buddy ... you don't want to hang out with them, either.
So, don't concern yourself with being too nice. You should like yourself though, and be confident that you're worth getting to know. It's up to you to share yourself. Also, if you tend to be shy, don't make yourself uncomfortable by pretending to be Mr Sociable. Do things within your comfort zone. As you gain confidence, you can test the limits a little.
Best wishes!
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg + ♥, writes (6 December 2007):
 Ye sadly I think it is possible. You tend to get put in the 'friend zone' quite easily and that tends to make things a little hard. I think assertiveness is the key and realising that you can be assertive without being 'nasty' as such.
What happened with the lasses who liked you? Why did it not pan out??
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