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I'm in love with my married boss!

Tagged as: Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 September 2011) 9 Answers - (Newest, 18 October 2011)
A female Philippines age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm madly in love with my boss. He's the company president and I'm his executive assistant. He's very good-looking and smart. I can't stop myself from faliing for him. He's living alone now but he's married and have kids in california which is very far away from here. What should I do? Hoe can I stop myself from falling for him since I always see him everyday, I travel with him, and we work together.

View related questions: his ex, my boss

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011):

This is all really very simple:

U decide whether you want to be your married boss' cheap plaything or not.

If u decide that u are only worth it as a mistress then go for it. If u really do value yourself and if u have morals then u know what u need to do. Do u want to play side dish to his wife and kids?

OP this is not a game. It is about life and the choices we make. Why are u ready to settle for second best.

Oh and BTW WHEN u do sleep with yoyr boss plse remember this saying: don't sh1t where u eat. The workplace is a damn wrong place to have a reputation. WHEN the boss tires of you plse remember the young personal assistant goes first, not the senior employee of the business.

If u really do want to make your career as a PA then u better not mix business with pleasure.

LoveGirl

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

my boss and I are going on a business trip outside the country next week..3 days. same hotel, same flight, same dinner. How can I keep myself from getting attracted to him? I really do not want to hurt myself.but I do not want to resign from my job as well.

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A female reader, RedAthena United States +, writes (30 September 2011):

RedAthena agony auntYou mentioned that he opens up to you about his personal life.

I think that creates a false sense of intimacy with him. You feel like you are in his "inner circle" and somehow special to be told these private things. You might feel that you "get him" more than your colleagues.

Yes, you need to stay professional, but also use your head clearly and realize that there are these actions of emotional intimacy that you are reacting to. If your boss is out of line with sharing too much info on his personal life-SPEAK UP and tell him you are not comfortable and it effects your WORKING relationship.

What else are you doing in your personal life to have real connection and get emotionally filled from relationships that will not cause trouble.

You have a crush dear. This is not a relationship. The interaction is pointing out something you are missing from your life that you need to fill elsewhere.

Do not examine this man, his motives, his life, his words, etc. Examine yourself. That is where all the answers are.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I really don't have an idea on whether he likes me or not. But all I can say is he's a very strict person whom you wouldn't mess with. He's very disliked by my colleagues because of his serious attitude. But one thing I like about him is Im the only one whom he tells and opens his personal life, about his family etc. Im really confused.

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A female reader, Libra1963  +, writes (26 September 2011):

Libra1963 agony auntYou did not say whether he liked you or whether he has given you any clues that he fancies you.

A lot of people meet at work and form relationships. Just do not allow yourself to be used and made a fool out of.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I am now trying hard to prevent myself from falling. When he calls me into his office I refrain from laughing at his jokes so I can maintain a professional relationship with him. I just respond to his requests and do my job well. Hope this will continue.....

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A female reader, RedAthena United States +, writes (22 September 2011):

RedAthena agony auntYou are playing with fire and you are going to get burned.

You would be putting your feelings, you self esteem, your reputation, your job, and that man's marriage at risk.

Put some boundaries between the two of you and limit the time you spend with him. Keep it professional and work related. DO not try to be his friend.

Outside of work, foster your friendships, date other people, dive into hobbies. If you are busy, you are not going to be lonely and give into the tempation of his company.

You are examined to his traits-surely you can find that in someone else who is single where you would not be "the other woman".

If you still feel attracted to him, and feel you might slip up, get another job. It just is not worth it!

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (22 September 2011):

Sageoldguy1465 agony aunt"Sounds" to me like you've already convinced yourself that you have to throw yourself at this man... Go ahead, have at it....

We will wait for your next submittal, sometime before too long.... when you ask "What happened?"...

Good luck....

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A female reader, Aunty Monica Nigeria +, writes (22 September 2011):

This sort of thing never ends well,if and when it does, you will be the one with the short end of the stick in every way. You will lose your job, self respect, dignity and you will be hurt.

Be professional!! get your own boyfriend and stop idolizing the man.

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