| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I have a Boy Friend and we just met for onle 3months now, and his asking for a marriage, but the thing is very Possesive and Joulousy, He doesnt allow me to go alone and when i go out he expect me to be home early, sometimes i look for excuse to go alone coz i just need some air out from him. what is the effect of all this Possesiveness and Jelousy.
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): first and foremost, i'd say that only being with someone for three months and then deciding to get married is a bad idea. but then again, it doesn't surprise me that he wants to, coming from someone that overly jealous and possessive. because he feels like he'll lose you unless you committ to him. anyway, i'm sure some may disagree with me on that, but how can you possibly know him after such a short amount of time? i mean, after only three months, you've already seen such a bad jealousy trait in him. what if there's worse traits (as if jealousy isn't already bad enough!!) you have yet to see in him?? just think long and hard before you say yes. please.
moving along. the reason people are excessively jealous is on account of having a messed up attachment style. they feel that they need you around at all times, or you don't love them. and jealousy comes along with that, because if you spend time with someone else, you must not love him. that's probably why he hates when you go out or insists on coming with you. not only does he have a hard time trusting you because of his own insecurities, but he wants to keep a watch on you to make sure that you can't do anything 'bad.' i'd say really talk to this guy about this problem. he may even need counseling if you're thinking about getting married. because you're not a child and don't have a curfew. you're a grown adult who has the right to live her life the way she wants. and if you let this go, it'll only get worse...trust me. please talk to him.
|
