| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Ok, so basically I'm looking for dating advice.. specifically, how to get to know a person? I'm very very shy when I'm around new people on a personal level. I mean, I have no problem chatting it up with people in any other situation, where there is no danger of having to get personal or establish an ongoing connection.. but when I'm trying to get to know a person, or on a date really, I can only focus on the activities.. Commenting on what we're doing, focusing on what's next.. rushing through the process.. I don't know what to ask, how to act.. I can't relax. ESPECIALLY when I'm attracted to a person. I've never had much dating experience, the majority of first dates turned into b.f.s by default.. and I'm only recently becoming who I want to be.Please help.. what should I ask to break the ice and get to know someone? How can I allow myself to be put out there without being scared to be rejected or hurt again??Thanks everyone.. I really appreciate any help/advice.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (30 December 2006):
 Hey,
why don't you try asking about thier family?
You've got to feel comfortable with someone to dicuss your family, where you grew up, borthers or sisters, childhood memories, that kind of thing. Then not only are they attracted to you, but know about you as a person. Not that you're just "some hot chick he's on a date with"
Five tips for success:
1.) Have a few questions and conversation topics prepared in advance.
2.) Listen to your date with genuine interest.
3.) Ask questions - talk about the food you're eating, share the conversation.
4.) Be positive and remember you're selling yourself on the first date.
5.) And finally, you've worked hard to get this date so think happy and enjoy yourself!
Now put your dating skills to the test!
Hope this was helpfull!
Phoebe xxXxx
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