A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, and thank you in advance. I've known this male for several yrs through a friend. He's 15 years older than I and we would talk here and there. We ended up becoming friends on facebook and began dating. We seemed to really connect. He would take me out a lot, the sex was great, treated me very nice, and he made me laugh. He had a bad prior relationship and had some commitment issues which began to affect me as I had some feelings developing and needed more.we dated about a year. We never used the "L" word but he always said he cares about me, and he misses me. Anyways, I ended up backing off returning to college and moving on with my life with minimal contact with him. He always reached out expressed he would like to "see" me, and said he misses me. I told him I felt we may have been in different places @ that time we dated. I needed a commitment and he wasn't ready. Now he's always in contact asking me out, and saying "he's ready" for me. I still have feelings for him, but a bit apprehensive of getting hurt again. Should I go for it? Or just let it be?
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female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (28 April 2012):
 Imagine this dialogue with him. Lay it all out on the table. Say you want more than he gave last time. You want him to be ready for the next step, not just sex and dating only. If you find him faking a relationship and then backing out when it comes to the decision of moving in together, or getting engaged, then you would rather not play this stupid waiting game.
If you have to say this to him, do you think you still respect this man? This is what I would say to him and I guess I would sound rather angry. What do you think he would do with this anger? You know him better than I do. You can either spend one more year figuring him out, or you can forget him and not pick up his call.
My ex took 2 years to say the L word, and that was because I nudged him to. My current one only took 3 months. Just to let you know there are men who would not let you wait.
A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (28 April 2012):
 You sound like both of you were definitely in different places at the same time. That's just life.
What have you got to lose? Go for it.
All the best.
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