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*rotman68 agony aunt

*rotman68

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

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*rotman68's profile:

I have been married now for 17years. I have to girls age 12 and 9. Before I meet my husband, I had a lot of relationships, I just didn't want to settle down. I liked meeting new people.

It funny really as Iam very good at seeing things from both sides of a relationship, this is sometimes annoying to close friends. I refuse to tell people, what they want to hear, so all my friends know that I will be honest with them and always look at it from both sides and not just my friends side.

I like helping people, I actually find that when your looking from the outside of someones relationship, things look so clear, but like everything in life, if your on the inside, trying to look out, forget it, it looks so different. I can never find the right solution with my own problems like i do with anyone elses.

I do find that when you dont know the person your advising, its so easy to give good advise as they have to explan things properly so we get the full story and people are more open with there proplems, it helps a lot. When friends want advise I find that they sometimes dont tell the whole truth and that can cause problems, I do need to know the truth otherwise the advise I give someone based on lies, would be wrong advise.

I have had some really bad relationship, friendships, and sexual and mental abuse relationships. I have gone through a lot in my life, but feel that everything happens for a reason and it makes me a better person.

I would like to think that I help people by giving them advise and gives them confidence and they dont feel so alone and that someone is listening to them. I know what it feels like when you cant think of anything else and you feel that friends have got bored with hearin the same old thing. Its always nice to know that someone is there to advise you. Well I am that person, so what ever the problem, tell me the whole story and I will answer it personally.

I'm so angry after breakup with boyfriend and I'm worried about how its making me act/feel

Q.   My now ex boyfriend and I broke up because he was a compulsive liar.he had lots of warnings but inm the end he just couldn't change so I ended it. The problem I now have is my anger, I am furious with him for everything he put me through! For not ...

A.   26 February 2012: God i know this feeling. I know its hard to try and move on but hope this will help you. The thing is once a guy lies and we over look it, this actually is saying to them that we except what they have done. This means that they don't learn from... (read in full...)

Does he love me? He walked out of my life for 5 months

Q.   Would you say that a man loves you when he walked out of your life for 5 months. He promised that one day you would both be together, but his wife tried to kill herself and he found out and went back to her. so he just walked out of my life and no ...

A.   11 November 2010: I know what you are saying tennisstar88. Iv only explained a little bit as its so long winded. Yes I would say the same thing. This person still has contact this time around and seems sincere. I know we have heard that before . This man was ... (read in full...)

Should I wait for him even at the risk of ending up alone?

Q.   i have a very serious question that i need some closure on. please don't think i'm silly for asking it. first you need the back story. i grew up going to church every time the doors were open. it was nice especially for children because...

A.   28 October 2010: My heart goes out to you,reading your story sent the shivers down my body. I went to a church school and meet a boy called David. Your story is just like mine. The last time I saw david was from the age of 11 years old until I saw him on Friends ... (read in full...)

His ex wants him back and he is confused!

Q.   I started talking with a guy that I met online in May of this year. Things progressed. We met, were very attracted to one another, but live about an hour away from each other. Things continued to progress. He was very romantic and is a writer. ...

A.   13 September 2010: I would actually respect them, because they are saying that they actually don't know what or if they want a relationship why they are having mixed feelings. Don't be negative about this. I think this person just has to have some space and need... (read in full...)

If he cheats and lies about it does he really love you?

Q.   Does a husband who cheats,lies,watch porno and never admits cheating really loves his wife?...

A.   28 February 2010: He is just dis-respecting you. Even if he did love you, he is not committed to you. By letting him do this to you is telling him that he is allowed to do this. Men chat cheatlike this, think only of there self's. Have more respect for yourself ... (read in full...)

It appears to be over, but I have no closure...

Q.   Okay, so a beautiful relationship I was in ended badly. We were together for a little over two months, but I poured my heart and soul into the realationship during that time. After she did many hurtful things to me in the last few weeks, she call...

A.   1 February 2010: God this sounds to close to home for me. Yes I had the same thing, but this time he didnt walk away from me but said a situation with his wife trying to kill herself and that his son was there at the time, so he said that he had to make his ... (read in full...)

In the beginning we talked alot and he told me how much he missed me and now when I IM him he doesn't reply.

Q.   This summer I went to Dominican republic and fell in love with a guy who works at my grandparents. We kissed, snuck out to the beach, it was amazing. ( I'm 13, we didn't have sex) I go there every summer so we said our goodbyes and see ya next ...

A.   29 January 2010: Hi there, I had a experience just like yours, I was 7 when I meet someone at school and yes everyone said it was a school girl crush. When I was 11 he left school and really that way the last time I saw him. I knew I felt different about him and ... (read in full...)

It appears to be over, but I have no closure...

Q.   Okay, so a beautiful relationship I was in ended badly. We were together for a little over two months, but I poured my heart and soul into the realationship during that time. After she did many hurtful things to me in the last few weeks, she call...

A.   12 September 2009: This happened to me recently and I have to say it, it still hurts. Closure is important I think and to have someone in your life and they can do that to you, makes you feel so used. mine went on for 16 months and he promised me everything and yes ... (read in full...)

Adults: Were you really in love as a teenager?

Q.   I am fifteen years old and I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for ten months. We have been in a long distant relationship for seven out of those ten months. Sometimes I feel like I love him so much it's unbearable, and I miss him s...

A.   11 September 2009: I dont think anyone can comment on this as this is a question we all have different views on. No one knows the answer to this question as its a question that will always be questionable to us all. The word Love, Young or the older generati... (read in full...)

Out of no where he ended things because he said he's too busy for a relationship, could there be more to this?

Q.   Hi, about a month ago I started dating this guy, we've been friends for about 5 years. He is at uni and i am studying part time while working.... He broke up with me yesterday. He said that he has so much work to do and is under a lot of pressure ...

A.   16 August 2009: He is basically saying he needs space. He is scared with what he is feeling, you said he mentioned moving in, How did you take this? The reason why I am asking is sometimes men feel that they are not good enough for us. I really need to know if ... (read in full...)

Is there a way to cope with continuous rejection by guys?

Q.   is there any answer to continuous rejection.guys don't like me no matter what i do .i need help please. can some one anwers my question its really up setting me i never had first boyfriend and let first kiss.guys just continuous hurt me and i...

A.   11 August 2009: It sounds to me that maybe you give them to much respect, I know it sounds silly but this does happen. If I was you, If it happens again dontgive them a reaction, just say to them, well go and see if they want you as its clear they dont or you would ... (read in full...)

She doesn't give great handjobs...how can I tell her?

Q.   Ladies i need some advice i don't want to upset my girlfriend but i don't like the way she gives me handjobs she never pulls my foreskin all the way back to stimulate my bellend my ex did this and felt great any ideas of how you would tackle this ...

A.   11 August 2009: I have to be honest about this, I had to be pulled over the Same thing. (Embarressed, as Im 40 and you would think, i should know what to do) Some women would take you saying it wrongly so please be careful. I would if i was you, when she does it ... (read in full...)

Am I pregnant..how long before I take a test?

Q.   Ok well hi, I just want to know if I should get a pregnancy test or not. im 17 and I lost my virginity on July 8th. I had sex 3 times that day WITH a condom, then once more on july 11th with a condom. They didn't break or have any holes that we ...

A.   11 August 2009:  i dont understand that you know its wrong so why do it. If you want to be treated like an adult, then act like one please. Thats not me being nasty but you seem sensible and you know this is wrong. I would go and get the morning after pill from ... (read in full...)

Should I have someone check on my husband?

Q.   My husband treats my like a queen. However he has lied to me about some very serious issues and some very petty issues.I don't think my husband is sexually cheating on me but I get this gut feeling that something isn't right either. When I get this ...

A.   11 August 2009: i believe in trusting your gut feeling,these never let you down. I went through the same thing and yes you think your going mad, they say you are going mad, in the end you will not even want to talk to friends about it. You dont need to spend aload ... (read in full...)

His ex gf is trying to break us up and I'm upset! Am I wrong to feel this way?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year. His best friend is a girl. They dated before, but it didn't work out. She is still in love with him, and she even admits to it. She is always trying to start things and break us up. She is always ...

A.   10 August 2009: You shouldnt feel bad, not one little bit. She might be in love with him and yes she will try and break you both up, but at the moment you have him. Normally people in this situation, get so upset that we end up taking it out on our partners and ... (read in full...)

I can't cope having a purely physical relationship.

Q.   I know I'm young, so I'm not going to naively throw the word 'love' around, but if there ever was anyone, it would be him, I've had strong feelings for him for nearing 4 years now, we've always gotten on really well and known how we've felt about ...

A.   10 August 2009: Hi, I hope this will help a little bit. I just had a friend of mine go through the same thing. Firstly you shouldnt do anything you feel uncomfortable doing. Also I have to say this to you. If you feel you dont trust him to do this for him, then ... (read in full...)

I'm becoming attracted to me best friend's ex.

Q.   i've started flirting with my best friend's ex girl, i never thought of her as atractive till she told me about her sexual fantasies and such, now i feel like i'd love to tap that, but what do i do?...

A.   10 August 2009: You want the truth, I wouldnt risk my friendship to be honest. I personally dont believe that anyone should go with anyon's ex partners. It just leads up to trouble. I would really think about this before it goes any furher. How would your best ... (read in full...)

I want to spend more time with my boyfriend. How do I get him to come over?

Q.   ok so me and my boyfriend has been dating for 6 mouths and he never wants to come over he says he loves me and i say it back and i want him to pay a little more attention to meh how do i do this ...

A.   10 August 2009: Has he given any reasons why he doesnt want to come over? If its important to you, have you suggested to go over to his, this will help you spend time together. You havent said how often you see him,so I would need some more information, before I ... (read in full...)

He's so verbally abusive

Q.   I'm so confused, me and my boyfriend have a relationship of 5 years. When he gets angry he says really hurtful things like " you bitch, your deaf, you dumb slut" he tells me he has a short fuse and can't controll himself. Last night I had enough a...

A.   26 July 2009: If he isnt taking your calls, I know how this feels and it just makes you worse, so you keep calling him and calling him and calling him. He knows you only to well and have you ever thought of taking a different approach in all this? I wouldn't... (read in full...)

He's so verbally abusive

Q.   I'm so confused, me and my boyfriend have a relationship of 5 years. When he gets angry he says really hurtful things like " you bitch, your deaf, you dumb slut" he tells me he has a short fuse and can't controll himself. Last night I had enough a...

A.   26 July 2009: If he isnt taking your calls, I know how this feels and it just makes you worse, so you keep calling him and calling him and calling him. He knows you only to well and have you ever thought of taking a different approach in all this? I wouldn't... (read in full...)

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