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*oJoman's profile:

my areas of expertise:



sexual dysfunction (with in depth knowledge of male anorgasmia/retarded ejaculation- scholarly papers available)

loveless/sexless marriage

fear of intimacy

Attachment Theory

avoident behaviour

Medications used for depression, anxiety and sexual dysfunction

"The Trouble With Therapists"


My wife has given me permission to have a sex it a bad idea??

Q.   My 46 year old wife is going through the menopause and has lost her sex drive to the point she has no desire for me or any other man on earth. I asked her to use her hand or to give me oral sex and she refused. She told me to find a woman that is ...

A.   14 October 2014: Man you don't know how lucky you are. When my marriage went sexless 20 years ago I begged my wife for an open marriage but she refused and now almost two decades later neither of us has had any sex. I'd go for it before she changes her mind.... (read in full...)

Are men programmed to lose interest in a woman after they've had sex?

Q.   I,ve been flirting with a friend of mine for months and yesterday we finally had sex. Today I feel that i really could be in love with him, but i have this feelin that now hes finally got his shag i'll hardly see him - and before u say it the sex ...

A.   6 September 2008: I think it's all a matter of degree. Some men enjoy an intimate relationship that can last from weeks to months to years. But some men can only be sexually aroused by newness and variety and find having sex with the same person over and over again ... (read in full...)

My husband doesn't want to have sex anymore, is it time to move on?

Q.   I thought this was the perfect man for me. we were so in love when we got married. We made love several times a day. We loved to hang out together, talk for hours. We have not made love in a very long time.. almost a year. I constantly asked him ...

A.   19 August 2008: The answer to your question depends on whether you have small children or not. If you do, it is not their fault your sex life is rotten. To break up a family so you can have sex is the height of selfishness. If you need sex find a buddy with ... (read in full...)

I'm in a sexless marriage!

Q.   My husband and I have been married almost three years now and we barely have sex. We got married sooner that expected because I got pregnant. We had sex all the time before we got married, but after I think we have three times. When I try to talk ...

A.   26 July 2008: His brushing it off and blaming you is classic behavior for men in this situation. It is probably best to keep in mind that this situation probably would have arisen with ANYONE he had married and does not have a lot to do with you. What's causing... (read in full...)

Gf told me I'm not the best sex she's had, what should I do?

Q.   hey ppl out there ive been in a relationship for a year and some months and i used to ask my gf if i was the best at sex she used to tell me yes and i was the first person to make her to cum alot and when having sex now i ask her again recently who ...

A.   25 July 2008: Do not depend on this woman for your own happiness and self esteem. If you obsess about thoughtless comments then she has power over you and she will keep pulling your chain. When you're young you get all panicky and worried about finding someone ... (read in full...)

I'm sad and angry most of the time in my sexless marriage. Should I leave??

Q.   My husband and I don't have sex anymore. He's always "too tired". Funny, he's never too tired to stay out to 2am with his drinking buddies or play table tennis on his evenings off. Just too tired for me. We rarely sleep in the same bed together ...

A.   25 July 2008: Some men can only be sexually aroused during the courtship stage of a relationship. Often these men begin to suffer from sexual dysfunctions caused by low levels of arousal either after the wedding or when the newness of any given relationship has ... (read in full...)

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