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*reenmonkey00 agony aunt

*reenmonkey00

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*reenmonkey00's profile:

I'm a Southern California beach bunny and part-time smartass who has no business giving other people advice, but, of course, that doesn't stop me. I love sarcasm, dry humor, and wit. Throw in a good Cabernet and you're on your way to second base.

I'm looking forward to responding to ALL of the ridiculous questions that flood this website, and some of the serious ones too.

Lotsa love.

I need hugs and help aunts! Its our first wedding anniversary today and my husband has gone to work and seems to have forgot...

Q.   Its our first wedding anniversary today and my husband has gone to work and seems to of forgot. I feel devastated, am i just over reacting, come on aunts i need hugs and help, what do you think?...

A.   12 April 2008: Send him a "Happy Anniversary!" message and let him know you intend to initiate some bedroom action or something. This will certainly clue him in to have some flowers or a card for you or will be a reminder to take you to dinner. Rather than ruin ... (read in full...)

I have been sleeping with other men, but I don't want to ruin my current relationship of 4 years

Q.   Hi everybody me and my man have been together for four years now we are very happy together and are getting married in three months time. i can honestly say i love him to bits and have never been with anyone who makes me so happy. but ther...

A.   12 April 2008: Love is not just a feeling. Love is an ACTION and you don't love this fiance of yours if you are disrespecting him by giving your body to other men who you say you don't even LIKE. You like the attention obviously, and that's fine, but don't act ... (read in full...)

I have a really low self esteem problem that my boyfriend doesn't understand

Q.   I have a really low self esteem problem that my boyfriend doesnt understand, im always trying to find new ways of how i can make myself 'look better'. Im a size 18, and i just feel fat all the time, i have an eating dissorder as a result, my boyfr...

A.   12 April 2008: I'm not really sure what your questions it, but know this: If you don't believe you are beautiful, you are certainly not going to believe your boyfriend when he tells you that you are. You need to thank your lucky stars that you have such a great ... (read in full...)

I don't want him to be offended but I don't like to "swallow". Can I spit it out in the toilet?

Q.   Okay here's my problem. I love giving my boyfriend head because i know he enjoys it so much. But, I can't stand the taste of come. With my ex boyfriend, he told me when he was going to come and I just switched and used my hand. But my boyfrie...

A.   12 April 2008: Heck no you don't have to swallow. Keep a washcloth handy and spit it in there. Fold it up and don't even mention it. Or if you really wanna get freaky, let it dribble down your chin and smile victoriously at him. He doesn't derive any physical ... (read in full...)

Do guys think I'm a loser because I'm a virgin?

Q.   I am 20 years old, and I am still a virgin. It's not because of religious reasons; I have dated before but I just haven't found the person to do it with. What I am fearing now is how guys see virgins. I have always watched TV and movies that basi...

A.   11 April 2008: I was a virgin until 21 and trust me, I ain't no loser. I do know that some guys don't want to "deflower" a girl for whatever reason. Like it's too much responsibility or there are certain implications that it has to be good because she will ... (read in full...)

I "freeze up" around my crush....what can I talk about to be more comfortable?

Q.   Long story short, I tend to freeze up and get nervous in front of my crush, even though during other times I am a pretty easy going and funny person. So from what he has seen, I pretty much look like a really dull person with no personality, because ...

A.   11 April 2008: 1) Compliment him. "Those jeans are smokin." His ego will soar and he will probably wear them for a week straight. 2) Ask him to explain something to you. For example: "I was watching a football game the other day and I have a question. What... (read in full...)

Should I have the baby when I'm not sure who of the three is the father??

Q.   Im 2 months pregnant and i dont know who the father is there is 3 possible dads and i dont know wat to do. please help me !!!!!! its ethier my exs a one night stand or my mate that i had sex with once or twice PLEASE help i know if been stupid but ...

A.   11 April 2008: It doesn't matter who the father is. That should not be the deciding factor in determining whether to have the baby or not. That baby is going to be a mini-you. :) They are an amazing joy! I always say, if you're ready to have sex, you're ready ... (read in full...)

It hurts when I rub her clit - why?

Q.   okay well... my girl friend and i do things like me fingering her and oral sex and her giving me a hand job. but here's my problem when im fingering my girlfriend and then i try to rub her clit and she says that it hurts her and we dont know why.. ...

A.   11 April 2008: My clit is too sensitive to be touched directly as well. But rubbing/licking around it in circular motions. This sends me through the roof. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Good luck!... (read in full...)

Why when I try to get my girl friend to try oral sex she just sits there and gives me weird looks?

Q.   here's my problem... when i try to get my girl friend to try oral sex she just sits there and gives me weird looks and so i ask her wat and shes like i dont know and so i ask her how does she not know and she doesnt really say anything so.. if ...

A.   11 April 2008: Hmmm. I had this problem when I first gave oral. Your girlfriend probably has no clue what to do down there, so she just looks puzzled. Maybe you should get some flavored stuff and slather it on there and tell her that you want her to suck/lick ... (read in full...)

What is going on? Is he cheating?

Q.   About 4 months ago I was checking his phone for someone's phone number and noticed a message. I checked his messages and it was a women that he works with telling him that she missed him and wants him to come visit her again. She ended the message ...

A.   11 April 2008: Tell that @$$hole that it is the epitome of disrespect towards you to go camping with another woman. Whether he's cheating or not, you may never know unless one of them decides to tell you. If you trust him, then you'll need to accept his answer ... (read in full...)

Should same sex marriages be legal, in your opinion?

Q.   Hey so my question is should Same Sex marriage be legal? I think yes, but I would like to know what you think....

A.   11 April 2008: If it was natural for people of the same sex to be married, you wouldn't be asking that question. It's like asking if there's a god. Everyone knows there is, but people prefer to abandon their moral compass and live as though nothing were taboo. ... (read in full...)

I've only just turned 12, I'm pregnant and I lied to him about my age!!

Q.   I met a really nice man nearly a 8 months ago, i'm 1 month pregnant and in a loving realationship with him. He was my 1st and i want him forever he adores me and asked me to marry him but i lied to him i told him i was 16 but in fact i've only just ...

A.   9 April 2008: Oh lawdy, this is going to open up a whole can of worms. How old is he? ... (read in full...)

When will he get in touch with me again? I do not want to be the one who makes the first step.

Q.   i broke up with my bf 3 days ago he said he does not have time for me as he has a lot of studying to do. I did not insist on patching up things as I did not want to look like a desperate woman. How long will it take before he gets in touch with me ...

A.   7 April 2008: Let's say you were in a relationship with a guy. One day he tells you that he doesn't want to be with you anymore and he doesn't want to be commited to you. He removes you from facebook without a word. He stops calling and texting. He wants you ... (read in full...)

I'm depressed and need to lose weight fast, Please help.

Q.   Hey Well...urmmm i'm being bullied about my weight and i eat healthy and excercise regulary but I'm still fat!!!:( I get really depressed about it and have self harmed over it:( Umm and all my friends are like the perfect size and I really want a ...

A.   7 April 2008: You are probably too young to understand this, but there is so much more to life than what other people think of you. You probably have so many great qualities...funny, intelligent, witty, respectful, charming. THOSE are the qualities that will ... (read in full...)

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