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My boyfriend still trying to get back with his ex but he can't love her! He gave me the ring

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 February 2018) 6 Answers - (Newest, 28 February 2018)
A female United States age 26-29, *eJah writes:

what should I do?

So for the past few weeks I’ve been on here trying to get advice. Trying to figure out if I’m a rebound or not. A week ago he was still hitting up his ex trying to give her oral sex, as well as physical sex. She turned him down and last night I was with him. I went through his phone and saw messages he sent her yesterday morning still trying to do the same thing. He even offered to pick her up, take her back to his house and drop her off to work after. He won’t take no for answer. I don’t wanna believe that you lose them how you get them because he can’t really love her. I mean, i’m the one he gave a ring to not her. She couldn’t have been doing her job right, he cheated on her with me.

View related questions: his ex, oral sex

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 February 2018):

Honeypie agony auntStick with SINGLE guys, OP

Guys who are NOT fresh out of a relationship, a separation or marriage but a SINGLE dude who is looking for a partner in life.

And learn from this.

You said it MUST have been her fault that he cheated... but if that is YOUR logic, it's your fault that he is still trying to get with her. What is the common domination here? HIM!!!

He wasn't CAPABLE of being faithful to her, and he certainly would be to you either. Because (no offense) YOU are NOT "better" than her. You were just more willing to ignore the red flags and believe his bullshit.

So yeah, TAKE this a learning experience. If something GOOD came of this, it's that his EX-GF is now rid of this scumbag!

Go get a STD test done. And in 3-6 months (whatever the doctor suggests) a re-test. Because I don't think he really CARES about WHO he sleeps with and WHAT he might pass around.

Remember.. a guy who will cheat WITH you, will cheat ON you. And someone who will cheat on their partner... CAN NOT be trusted.

Want more for yourself and don't get caught up in "instant relationships" - where you REALLY don't know the guy from Adam, but he talks a good game.

Words a cheap. There are no way of knowing if the things he said is true. Because? YOU can't trust the TWAT!

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A female reader, 02DuszJ United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2018):

02DuszJ agony auntHe doesn't LOVE either of you; he's LYING to both of you.. you are both of equal worth to him i.e. human blow up dolls. The ring is obviously a way to throw you off the scent and just another lie.. you think he would have told you straight up he was cheating on you? You only FOUND OUT because you went through his phone

He's a liar and a cheat. I would honestly get yourself down the sexual health clinic because he obviously goes with whoever he wants whenever he wants. He could have ANYTHING i.e. STIs or STDs.

You need your head checked if you actually spend one more minute with this sleazebag

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A female reader, DeJah United States +, writes (28 February 2018):

DeJah is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you guys for the harsh truth and reality. When I said what I said about the ring I was over emotional and got a little carried away. I knew better than to think our relationship would be a hop,skip and a jump. His plan was not to even break up with her. I tagged him in a picture of us on national boyfriend day, she ended up seeing it and of course the whole situation blew up and they broke up and I guess I was his fall back. He seemed like he was never really over her to begin with. I mean yes he cheated on her, but if he didn’t care he would have just flat out told her about me. Right after they broke up and he stayed with me, I saw messages between the two and it was mostly him saying he still wanted to be friends. Any guy that still wants to be friends with his ex obviously is still holding on to something she has that he doesn’t want to let go of. He showed signs of still having feelings from the beginning and I ignored it.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2018):

N91 agony auntWhat does that mean? He cheated with you so he MUST want to be with you right??

No, it just means he wanted sex outside of his relationship and you were a willing participant. It means absolutely nothing and YOU mean nothing to him. If you did why would he still be contacting his ex? Even if he wasn't, is a cheat a good long term option? If he slept with you whilst he supposedly loved another then he could very easily do the same to you.

His ex won't take him back for good reason so I'm damn sure he's only sticking around you because you're convinced he's the one for you. Take the exes lead, kick this guy to the curb.

In all honesty, everyone answering this question and deep down even you know that this guy is a piece of shit. Why would you devalue yourself so much to believe that this is all you're worth? Where's your self respect?

Want more for yourself! Find an honest and respectable man. Not someone who will hop into bed with any female that offers it.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (28 February 2018):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntNot sure if this is a wind-up or not but going to work on the (very sad) presumption it is genuine.

OP, is this all you are worth? A silly ring? I mean, REALLY? Why do you not think you are worth more? Like someone who is loyal and faithful? Like someone who sees you as their one-and-only. Like someone who would not do anything to hurt you? Like someone who respects you?

He will get bored of you, same as he got bored of his ex. There is nothing surer. Some other female will offer him sex on a plate and guess what? He will take up the offer, just as he did with you.

His ex has dodged a bullet. Hopefully she realizes how lucky she is that you took him off her hands and opened her eyes to what a sleazeball his is.

She can't have been doing her "JOB" right? Do you see this slimy specimen as some sort of "prize"? I mean, REALLY? And if that is the way you see things, what does it say about the "job" YOU are doing? Surely, if YOU were doing your "job" right, he would not be trying to get back in his ex's knickers?


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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 February 2018):

Honeypie agony auntSorry, OP

The "ring" means nothing in the bigger picture. IF he LOVED you he wouldn't be so BLATANT about getting sex from his ex or another woman.

The "ring" he got you is to KEEP you from saying enough is enough.

You are BLAMING her for him cheating? Are you ... How can I put this in a non-offensive way? Hmm, I can't.. Are you totally dense?

He cheated on her with you. Because he could, and because you threw your legs open. He would cheat with HER if she said yes - is that YOUR fault then? Are YOU not doing your "job as a GF?

He WILL cheat on you regardless of the "ring". The ring doesn't mean he will be faithful to you.

SOMEONE who will cheat WITH you, will/can cheat ON you.

I really hope you grow some common sense, whether you stay with this sleazy player or not... You will need it. Or a very big shovel to bury all those "elephants in the room".

Can you really see ANYTHING but red flags here?

Don't let some guy make you think you OWE him to be faithful and stick by him because he cheated on his ex with you OR because he gave you a "ring".

You are so young to waste your time, your emotions, your affection and attention on a PIECE of crap man that isn't WORTHY.

I know, I know... many young women HAVE to date at least one "bad boy" to realize that is not someone you want to be with long term or have kids or a family with... but, sticking your head in the sand doesn't make his behavior (or your own) any better.

Time to grow up little lady.

Ask your mom what she thinks? Does she think he is worthy of you? Or ask your dad, if he is around.

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