A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My wife hasn't really been 'around the block' much. She had 2 bf's before me (well serious bf's, not counting guys with a few dates and no action).Problem is, my wife, way before she met me, made one of those penis molds of her one boyfriend. I never heard of this before, but I searched for it, and I guess it is kind of common. You put plaster or something on the guys erect penis, let it harden, then fill it with some rubber goop and out comes a rubber copy of the guys penis. We found it when we bought our house and moved in together. I thought she threw it away (At least she told me she did).The other day I found her 'satisfying' herself. There is nothing wrong with that, we have a good sex life (about 5 times/week), but I know (from personal experience) that sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do!. She didn't see me see her, but I know she was using a dildo, which I didn't know we had. Later, I looked in her nightstand drawer and found this ex-boyfriends 'replica rubber penis'. I'm not stupid, I know women fantasize about other guys, and even ex-boyfriends, but I'm really hurt that she would use a rubber penis that is exactly the same or copy I guess of her ex-boyfriend. Do I just throw it out? Or confront her and have a major fight over it? Like I said, I know she's going to have sexual fantasies and stuff, but using something that I thought was thrown out and is a copy of an ex is just too much for me to accept.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): Original poster here. Thanks for the answers. I think I'm going to throw it out and not say anything about it.
I am also going to 'suggest' that we go 'toy' shopping together. I assume, unless she's dumber than I think, she'll figure out what happened to her 'ex-rubber thing' and won't ever bring it up. I don't want to fight over it, using a 'toy' is fine, I was just hurt it was from an actual ex-bf.
Thanks again.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2009): Hi
Not worth falling out over and prob quite innocent...however you could show by example....
get an x girlfriends tits moulded and bring them home as an ornament. Laughter better than fights..Whats good for the goose.........
Good luck
via con dios.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2009): Unless your wife is dull, I think it is very obviously inappropriate to keep, let alone use, the mold of another man's penis. Sure, take her shopping for a different dildo if you like (as if she couldn't have done that herself). The point is: she is pleasuring herself with the sensation and memories of an ex. She enjoyed the feel of him so much, she still wants it. Sometimes lust is what it is. Still, I would call her on it. Not a huge fight (I'm not a fighter), but just like: "We are married so your past lovers and sexual experiences need to stay firmly in the past. If there is more you want/need from our sexual relationship, I would love to work on pleasing you more. But, it's not okay to lie to me and it's not okay to pleasure yourself with a replica of your ex's penis." There's always the ol' "How would you feel if I had sex with a vagina model of an ex-girlfriend?" reversal as well.
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A
male
reader, Guitarist  +, writes (19 March 2009):
 the replies have answered your question perfectly already.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (19 March 2009):
 I agree with the other poster. Go toy shopping together. I would let her know your feelings about her using a toy she said was tossed out. That I don't feel is okay behavior. Let her know you have no problem with her pleasuring herself, but what she was using you feel violated.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2009): you get that your wife has needs... and that she may want to use a toy to satisfy them, so what about talking with her calmly and suggesting that you both shop for a dildo together, as you felt hurt by her using this mould...
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