A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have 3 questions for you:#1:would you ever date some who doesn't have the same religion as you?#2:how did you handle a big love break up?#3:when you fall in love do you:your heart then your brain.or your brain then your heart?thank you:) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (4 October 2008):
 1. If the chemistry were right, and he wanted to date me in spite of the difference in religion, I would. For the record, I really don't have a particular denomination. I love latino men (if you've seen my column, then you may know :) ), most of whom are Catholic of course. Their religion isn't a factor... it's just that most happen to be Catholic. If I met one who was Jewish, then that would be fine with me, as long as loved him. I think that you have to be secure in your own beliefs, and I think that the chemistry has to be there, and you have to accept that your boyfriend or girlfriend's religious beliefs are important to them, and not go into a relationship thinking that they will change them.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to share your faith with someone, but expecting someone's convictions to change in a relationship is something entirely different.
2. A lot depends on the circumstances of the breakup, but if you truly loved someone, I don't think that you ever "get over" that person, but you eventually do get on with your life and open your eyes up to others. Music always helped me, because it was my first love... everyone has a different passion.
3. Your heart!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2008): Hello!
To answer 1 by 1
#1) yes I would. But then I'm not religious and I don't believe in god at all. However it wouldn't stop me dating someone who did because I would respect their belief system. I wouldn't let that put me off someone because it's only one facet of a person, and I don't believed they should be judged as a whole simply on the basis of their religion.
2#) I've had a big break up recently! And my advice is to go out, be with your friends and family, and start doing all the things you didn't do when you were with the other person. I needed to start having new experiences which were not shared with him. This was hard at first because we'd been living together for years, but it does happen in the end. Force yourself to socialise and find new things to do to fill up your time.
3#) Heart first, and then brain should follow. I don't think it is possible to fall in love with your brain- it's not how these things work, at least not for me. The brain makes (usually)the rational decisions. The heart is more emotional and usually makes these sort of decisions for me. My brain can't force me to love someone if I don't feel anything for them in my heart.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2008): 1: Why wouldn't you? My parents were different religions, and they worked out well, but, they split up, but nothing to do with religion.
2: I don't know, never had to.
3:Both. At the swame time. You'll just....know.
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