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Would it be wrong for me to be happy?

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Question - (3 December 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 4 December 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, *adelyn writes:

Hi everyone, I just need a little advice on my current situation. I was dating a guy for 7 years and we broke up about a year ago. We kept in touch and now it seems like we kept in touch too much. We didn't have much space to let the fact that we are no longer with each other register in our heads. We didn't have too many problems but the attraction level died down (at least on my part).

I am now dating someone new and as it usually is with new relationships, the chemistry is immense. However, I have never felt this much attraction before and I can't imagine how the chemistry could be this intense. The new guy has some emotional baggage. By that I mean, he's extremely sensitive as he was hurt greatly in his prior relationship which causes him to be very insecure.

The problem is that I can see myself being happy with the new guy but can't help feeling sorry for my ex. He still loves me and has feelings for me and I do miss what we had from time to time. I feel as if it isn't fair for me to be happy while he's feeling miserably about us. My relationship with the new guy isn't great as we are still getting to know each other. During bad times, I often think whether it'll be easier to just reunite with my ex. I love my ex very much and I would gladly risk my life for him. But I'm not sure I am in love with him. I often ask myself if I can find the attraction I felt for him once and I often ask whether the new guy is just another obstacle.

Please advise.

View related questions: broke up, insecure, my ex

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A female reader, madelyn United States +, writes (4 December 2007):

madelyn is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank for the response. I am just worried since my ex seem to have fallen in a state of depression since this all took place. I really just want to stop feeling responsible.

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A female reader, bqagirl2692 United States +, writes (3 December 2007):

bqagirl2692 agony auntReunite with yoour ex when your IN LOVE...NOT out of sympathy. It isnt wrong of you to move on. IT just shows your maturity about the situation and that you are trying to live life to the fullest. Your ex on the other hand has to get through his head that you both arent with eachother for a reason. Dont blame yourself for his heart-ache. He must simply move on just like you have. Sympathy is not the answer. Some people have to suffer in order to achieve great happiness. Give love another chance.

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