| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: So Here I am almost 20 years old. I want to have children but i am so not finacialy ready and neither is my boyfriend. My boyfriend had no motivation to get a job or go to school. Am I wrong for thinking if we both diside to have a baby it would change his motivation? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2006): That's really unfair to the child, and is a terrible reason to have children. I would be ashamed for even thinking it.
A
reader, Rainee  +, writes (16 June 2006):
 Bluntly put, you should never decide to have a child for any reason other than that you are ready for one. "Ready" is relative, but in these days and age, it usually refers to financials and wanting to be a parent. You yourself say you're not ready financially, and if you go ahead now, the chances are you'll have a child or children with no way of taking care of them at a very young age.
Your boyfriend, who has no motivation to work or go to school, is probably afraid of responsibility, and becoming a parent is the biggest responsibility of them all! Just as one learns to crawl before walking, he needs to be able to take care of himself before he can take care of you, and subsequently a child. You're more likely to scare him away. That doesn't leave good prospects for you, as then you'd be a single mother with no money (diapers, wipes, a crib, clothes, space for all the aforementioned, child care, etc really add up).
Anyways, even if he did smarten himself up, do you REALLY want THAT to be the reason you went ahead and actively decided to have a child when you haven't the means to care for it? "Well, we only had you, son, because daddy was being a deadbeat and I needed something to push him into working..."
...............................
A
female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (16 June 2006):
 dear reader it could well do but be carefull not to make him feel trapped or he will just leave you holding the baby so to speak.
if he does want children but says no just coz of money then tell him he could save i know they cost a bit but as long as they have the essentuals i.e love and milk lol they do just fine.
good luck and keep me posted xxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2006): Would you expand your company operations without an ongoing client base? Would you open up another store without income? Would you move out without a job?
If you two are incapable, do not do it until you have the foundations built at the very least.
...............................
|
