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Worried my boyfriend's wife will hurt me or my child

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 August 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 August 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *lp writes:

ok i really need some help and would just like supportive replys please,

i have been with my daughters father for almost 3 years, at frist he war mr right but since has turned in to who i have to be with.

after a month or so i got pregnant and then all the drama started,

well i found out he was married but not living with hes wife and soon after he told me that they were getting a divore and to try and cut it short he told her that i was pregnant to get her to leave him alone because she left him and moved out and he i guess didnt want her any more i am not sure really,

but anyways off and on for a few months he went to meet was unreachable for hours and one night didnt come home just went to work the next morning i showed up at hes work and he acted like nothing of it, well then i found out about an ex but not so ex that he had been seeing off an on for since before hes wife but seen her while married anyways the woman didnt care but i did and he cut off contact with them both

to this day he is faithful comes home everyday after work is there for our daughter trying to make things right with me but i cant get over the past intillhe is divorced,

with the baby having special needs because of her being premmie oh yeah all the stress of his ex trying to stab me in the stomic when i was 7months pregant made my water break

well i am a full time mom at home carry for my daughter

he works but with all the bills we cant get ahead enough to pay a lawyer to get the divorce we filled the papers once but it never went threw because she didnt want the divorce out because she doesnt want me and him to get married

i dont want to marry him i am no where near ready i am on the edge of taking my daughter and leaving to stay with my family, i need some advice on what i should do,

she had gotten my email and sent me a few saying they have been talking and he wants her back that they will be getting a divorce and that he doesnt want that mistake and the only reason he is staying is because he doesnt want to hurt hes mother who has been threw hell with cancer this past year

i asked him about it but i am sure he lied just dont know which part he finally admitted that he talked to her on the phone but told her to leave him alone he was working and then she showed up at hes job and he had to make her leave but when i asked what she wanted he told me a buch of stuff she was saying which seem like the sat down and talked

none of this really bother me but the fact is, is he playing me for a fool?

is he still having a relationship with her ?

is the only option here to leav him and take my daughter?

i worry beacuse she doesnt like children and wouldnt even be ok to my daughter

she tried to stab me her words were you whore i am going to gut that baby out of you for fkn my husband

i never asked for this i have put up with alot i am so confussed and i really dont know what i should do at this point

im scared if i leave either my daugher will have no father or he will go back to her and take me for full custody and see they both work and even with child support i dont have enough to live on my own and my daughter has too many health problems for me to work at the moment and i know that hes wife would treat her terrible

please give me some advice

View related questions: divorce, his ex, moved out

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010):

also i cant just leave with no money and nothing i wouldnt want to be on the street plus he is ok with the baby but i know i hae to do something i think i might search for a job and move out and get child support and daycare but not everyone can just up and leave right then with nothing when a child is involved so please be more senstive next time

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010):

Your boyfriend's wife??? What a mess. You should have dumped him as soon as you found out he was married.

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