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female
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anonymous
writes: I married a gentle caring sort of person but being an inter community marriage and his mother's overdrive at nastiness and control has come between us for a long time now. He is such a good person with the world but has taken all his resentment out on me esp after our child's birth 5 years back. I went really down and with constant criticism started thinking really poorly of myself.But I am changing; after trying to work things out, and not getting anywhere, I've just let go. I'm finding some good footholds in starting a career, I am feeling confident, criticisms and snubs have stopped reaching me. But I'm nearly 40 and with a child. If I leave this man, many questions really worry me - will I ever find someone again, who'll also be a good father to my child ( v Imp), will this man manage well enough? He's a good person really (maybe just not to me). People also say 2nd marriages work even lesser than the first. I can not leave him till I'm financially independent - where we live, a woman may not get anything unless she fights a long protracted battle. How do I live with him for another 2 years or so knowing fully well the relationship is no more.. Well really long Qn. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (24 September 2006):
 You have worries and in 2 years when them worries are gone or some are you will have more, there never is a good time to leave someone especially someone you have been with a long time with a child involved but you have to do what is best for you and your child and staying in something long over is not best for you both.
You can't worry about what ifs as they will just drive you mad you need to concentrate on making a life for you and your child and other things will follow.
Good luck :o)
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