A
male
age
51-59,
*ydallas
writes:Last year was the worst. I had an afair last year that last about 7 months on and off. My wife and I seperated, she didn't see anyone until the 7th month and when she did it was a one nightstand. She picked this guy up at a bar, took him to our house and had sex with him. The guy was in the Army and was returning to Germany in a few day's. They went out for dinner and returned to our house where they had sex again. Later that week, when I found out I returned home and asked her about it. She denied that they had sex. I was getting ready to leave for a military deployment in 2 weeks . So we desided that I was going to stay at the house to spend as much time with the kids as possible. After snopping around I found out that she dolled herself up for there date by shaveing area's that she only shaved before sexual activeties. She also worn a nighty for this person, which I always had to ask her to wear one for me. She also bought 3 I miss you cards for him which she never sent out because i found them. Awhile later my wife and i were talking and she said that his penis was larger then mine. She wasn't tring to hurt me with that statement, the subject just came up. I felt as the he pleased her better then I have because he was larger. That comment always pops up in my head when her and I are making love. I feel as if she's always thinking of him when we are involved sexually. During one of our talks I stated if I ever saw him I would hurt him. She replied that I couldn't because he goes to the gym 5 times a day. It seemed that she was defending him. Can you help me to understand why I want my wife so bad now then I ever did. I started feeling this way after I found out that she slept with someone else. She said it was just sex nothing more. What does that mean? Also I feel as if because he was larger then me she perfers him over me and if he was still here she would be with him. Do women want more from a man becuase of the size of his penis? Will she have sex with him again because of his size? Why can't I stop thinking of my wife have sex with this man? It's always on my mind. Our marriage is better now then it has been in years. I want us to contunie to grow and build our relationship stronger. I want and need my wife more now then I ever did. Please help me find some answers. Thank you. Angelo
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2010): Pretty simple really... you took her for granted to the point of screwing around on her for seven months and when she did find someone else you realized she could live without you after all. We never know what we have and are taking for granted until it's gone.
As far as the shaving and the nightie go... of course she would want to feel sexy/confident/good about herself when being intimate with someone new. I hate to say it but if she knew you were cheating on her, that probably destroyed her self-esteem. Imagine knowing your husband is going elsewhere to get laid. If she felt that she, as she was, was not "good enough" for you then it's not surprising that she felt like she had to dress up and shave in order to be attractive to this guy.
About the bigger penis... um, I'm a woman, and I've been with men of different sizes, and I'll tell you straight out that bigger isn't always better. Past a point it just hurts. The best sex I've ever had has been with a guy who was "average" size at best... because he knew what the hell he was doing! Don't focus on the fact that this man was bigger than you. Learn how to use what nature did give you to make sex as pleasurable as possible for your wife and I guarantee she will not be thinking about him while you're getting it on ;)
About her maybe still wanting to be with this guy... well, good communication needs to be the foundation of the relationship you are trying to rebuild with her. Instead of asking a bunch of strangers on the Internet, you should probably ask your wife about this one. Best of luck.
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