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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: This is a long winded story, but here goes...I was in a relationship with a guy for five years, and then we split up. If I'm being honest, we kind of needed a breather. We had a few things that needed to be sorted out, like lifestyle issues but for the most part we were very happy. He never gave me reason to doubt his love for me. What I didn't expect was him to hook up with another girl right after we split.The girl has been after him ever since I have known her, cause he's kind of popular. Although she dated his friend, she always went to him for advice and generally just to talk to. I never really questioned their friendship because I trusted him. She's not a very nice person as people have commented. She's very maipulative, desperate and has few friends. Someone told me she envied me cause of my er, social standing, and because my ex and I had such a solid relationship. Apparently she was truning a little 'single white female'...!! Anyway, so my ex and her have been dating a few months, and although it killed me I let them get on with it. A few weeks later we happened to be at the same place without her. It felt like we were friends, and we hadn't had this life changing split. We hung out afterwards and chatted all night about our relationship. He told me he still loves me and that I was the love of his life. One of his best friends who I have only spoken to a handful of time told him he had made the biggest msitake of his life leaving me. He held my hand for the rest of the night, and asked for a kiss. I said no and it really upset him.Its been a couple of weeks, and although we are in contact more, nothing has changed. He is still with her, and he's acting like they're better than ever. I know him, and I know he is conflicted. I know he probaly likes this girl but I have no reason to not believe he doesn't love me too. When things go bad, he ignores it. My guess is going out with her is easier than facing up to this mistake he made.My question is, what do I do? I still have feelings for him but after all the pain he put me through, I don't know if i could forgive him. I still believe he's a good person, and I think he's with her cause it's easier than facing up to what he's done. Or maybe he genuinely has feelings for this girl? If I don't do anything I will have to watch them be 'happy' together. If I do tell him that we have a chance, what did I go through all that pain for? And what about his girl...I'm quite sure she will be out for revenge. Thanks for readng my story. And thanks in advance for your replies.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): Not sure I understand as these reasons you guys broke up have they changed? Well you love him - go for it. But you risk he might not be ready to give up the new woman in his life. Be sure its not a case of wanting what you can't have.
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