A
female
age
51-59,
*onfusednlost
writes:I met a guy two 1/2 years ago. We dated for 3 month on our last date we said bye like normal but he never came back. I need closure. I want to understand what happen. we speak alot through emails but i'm afraid to tell him how I feel. He ccntinues to say he will see me soon . Should I let this go? or just wait for him to come see me? also just to let know what we had was very romantic but he told me he didn't want to fall in love. What does that mean? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, crispap +, writes (27 October 2009):
If you still speak through emails and he responds than you can get your closure right there. Tell him whatever you need to get off your chest and just ask him straight out. Let him know you are over him and are not looking to date him anymore nor will you put up with the stringing you along that he will see you soon..just that he at least owes you an answer if he wants to continue talking to you at all and be friends.
Same thing happened with a guy I dated and I just got sick of it, found another guy and told him that I couldn't wait around for him any longer to just "come see me" or remember to call. I wrote it in an email and told him how I didn't appreciate the stringing along and dishonesty and that I knew obviously he was hiding something..
Soon after he met with me and confessed to having a wife! Well it wasn't much of a shock, I had figured it out by then but at least it helped to know there was a reason and was easier for me to move on. We still talk as friends sometimes but that's it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): I'm going to be a little harsh here, but sometimes that is needed in order for some people to open their eyes.
First off, why are you pining away over a man that you met two and a half years ago and you only dated three months? I don't see why you are still in contact with him. I would have all the closure I need when he pulled that magician "disappearing" act. I would tell the a-hole to kiss my grits and block his e-mails.
At the age bracket that you listed above, you shouldn't be confused. At this point you should know what is and isn't acceptable. You are also well aware of what men would do that is really interested. They wouldn't drop you like two week old leftovers, disappear without a trace, and to make matters worse lie and tell you that they are going to see you soon. Why are you still waiting for an answer? The answer is right in your face, so when are you going to face reality?
I'm at least 10 years younger than you and I am the type of woman that seek advice from women your age. I am always eager to listen to the pearls of wisdom because the assumption is that you already walked the path that I am on right now. Don't continue to sit there and be wounded like you are sixteen and been dumped by the star of the football team. Move on, wise up, and listen to that small voice that is telling you the answer. Best of luck to you
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (27 October 2009):
 He's not interested anymore for whatever reason and you need to stop replying to his emails. Why is he emailing you? Who knows but he knwos that he can as you seem to be replying.
He's not going to come and see you. If he wanted to he would already have done it.
Yes, let it go...he's not interested in continuing what you had and you need to move on. After three months together and to just walk away without telling you why and now emailing you, well he's just not worth it.
What the hell do you talk about in your emails? If I was with someone for three months and they just up and left and then started emailing me I'd think twice before replying. This guy is not worth it and he's wasting your time. He's not coming back. You need to forget him.
I also think that Jayney Y is right...he sounds like he has someone else. That's none of your concern now, don't email him anymore and move on...there's better guys out there.
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y +, writes (27 October 2009):
 Not quite enough information, but it kinda sounds like he might be hiding something, like perhaps a wife or a girlfriend. As long as you put up with his indecision he'll keep stringing you along. Good luck.
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