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anonymous
writes: Hi, I am involved in a long term relationship and I am having some problems with my boyfriend. He lives an hour away from me and my parents dont really like him anymore for some little reasons that were partly my fault. I go and see him, and to me it seems that he has time for everyone. When I go and see him it is his and my time and mainly we sit with his friends (as he lives in a big house sharing with other uni students) and when I got back home and on the next day its like 'he is busy with his uni work', 'with his friends' i.e. he is doing something with them like going to the pub or clubs or birthday parties.He does this too often and I dont as I am in college and have dedicated my time to my work and him! I throw my friends away because I have to chose whether I will see him on that weekend or see my friends as I have spare time and my mum allows me to go out. As long as I have finished my work, that is. So I choose him. I dont know, maybe I am jelouse of him and his friends, as they see him more than I do ... they see him every day, hang out with him almost every night ... but as for me and him ... we see eachother ones or sometimes twice a week. I dont know what to do, please help, as I am confused on my feelings towards this. I dont want him going out when I am not with him! I want him to have only time for me and no one else as I have for him! It is not fair that others have his attention more than I have! I want to be selfish and tell him that I dont want him to see any of his friends that much! But of course I can not do so! So could you please give me advice on how to handle my jelousy or whatever these feelings are! I just get really upset about this and cant handle it anymore! I love him very much and it should be me having all of his attention, not his friends!Thank you! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2007): You shouldent feel anything your not in the wrong he is and if he really loves you and wants it to wrok juat sit him down and talk to him tell him whats wrong and if he dont care tell him you are leaving
A reader, max, writes (22 March 2005): I have exactly the same problem with my boyfriend! But one day i thought to my self, why am i chasing after him all the time? so on the week ends i make plans with my mates to go out, and i told my boyfriend a day or two before the weekend exactly what im doing and that i cant see him this week end. And also i said "i have realised that you need to spend time with your mates so here is your chance. ill give you a ring in the week!" this lasted for about a week and the next weekend my boyfriend rang me half way through the week to check that im coming to see him!!now it seems like he has got a lot more time for me!But if this dont work then his mates will always be first in his eyes and there is nothing you can do to change that. you have to live with it or find some one more to what you want from a boy!
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A reader, olivia, writes (12 March 2005): That's life. He is a boy he likes to spend time with his mate not with his girl, so if I was you I would just forget him. If he don't hang out with you or don't treat you like his friend, he is not right for you.
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