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Why would a guy not be hard or be able to be hard if he never came?

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 April 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, *ovemeright11 writes:

me and my boyfriend where having sex this morning and while we where having sex I started to notices the feelings was going away then we thought maybe its the condom. so he took it off and cleaned up did not even try to continue he never came either. I asked him if he would try again if he could get hard cause I was still ready to go and I also am on the pill so he said yes I tried and tried and tried but nothing would happen.:( So my questions is why would a guy not be hard or be able to be hard if he never came? I am very confused. He is the one who came on to me this morning so i just don't get it. Is it possible to cum and not feel it maybe too on a male side?

View related questions: condom, the pill

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (5 April 2011):

Odds agony auntThere's a lot of stuff that has to happen internally for a penis to work. It's not a magic gauge of a man's emotions or thoughts. And when even one thing goes slightly wrong, even something as trivial as losing focus for a second and losing the erection, it creates a ton of anxiety and stress. Once you have that anxiety and stress, it's basically impossible to get it up again.

I know you asked him honestly and innocently if he could get it up again, but that put a ton of pressure on him, basically ensuring he would not be able to correct the situation.

In the future, just tell him you're close to finishing, and specifically ask him to finger you the rest of the way. You'll get at least partial satisfaction, and it'll take the pressure off him. With luck, he'll even be able to relax enough to get it back up, but don't fret if that doesn't happen.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011):

I wouldnt think to much into it, its likely he just lost his ego for a bit.

Me and my bf well im not getting to much into it as its embarrasing but lets just say one morning sex wasnt happenein for us (usually we dont have that problem) but this morning it just wasnt happenening and i asked if he wanted to try again and even again later in the day and he didnt want to. It broke down his male ego a little bit because hes a man and he should be able to do those things with no problems and bla bla bla.

Just ignore it that time and later when your with him kiss and cuddle or watever it is you do, get him in the mood again and go for it.

Sometimes things happen but its no-ones fault, just brush it off and try again...just may need to wait for him though as like i said he may be embarrased or have a lil bruised ego.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011):

He could have 'cum' internally - an odd feeling that leaves everyone confused. Pretty much instead of exiting the body, his cum went backwards into his bladder and he went soft after as if he came outside. Nothing abnormal or to be concerned about really.

Ask him if his pee was a bit cloudy later in the day after you guys had sex.

Chances are that's what happened.

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