A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:So my wife has a promiscuous past and I don't hold it against her. When she asked me about my past lovers, I was an open book. No problem. She, however, doesn't convey much. She is defensive about what she did. I'm ok with that. However, I know she has had sex with her past lovers in ways she doesn't want to with me. Vibrators, porn,...all with men she says she dislikes. So what's the deal? Why not with me? It's a matter of principal, and honestly I do spend time thinking about what she may have looked like doing these guys like that. Not cool. Any advice?
View related questions:
her past, porn, vibrator Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 August 2010):
Because you're supposed to be better than those other guys with whom she did all that stuff. Every time she thinks of what she did, it reminds her of her past which she is unhappy about. I think you just need to accept that she won't do anything that will remind her of her past.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): There is no payoff for treating this kind of woman well. She does not respect herself. The better you treat her, the less she will do for you compared to her exes. The worse you treat her, the harder she will try for you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): Maybe she did not enjoy the things she did in the past. Maybe she felt pressured to do those things by her past partners, hence the strong negative feelings she has towards them. Do you feel like she is sort of giving less to you sexually than she did with her previous partners? Like I said, I doubt that is what she is trying to do. I think it is just likely she is not happy about what she did, and would rather not go there again. Maybe certain things bring up unpleasant memories too. If there are things you would like to try, I think it is fine to bring it up and ask if she would be interested in trying new things in the bedroom. But if she is really not happy to do those things, then there is no way to make her.
...............................
|
