A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello All,Please can you throw some light on my situation. Thanks in advance. I borke up with my rather controlling BF a few months back, then it turned into a FWB situation which I was not happy with, so I stopped that a couple of months back. However, he still continues to contact me, and acts possesive, and almost as if he is still my BF.He messages me for days at a time, and get's annoyed when he cannot get hold of me straight away , even though I have explained to him that I am no longer interested in the FWB situation, and then messes me around when I say it would be ok to meet up somewhere, and doesn;t call back. Then leaves it , and tries again after a while. This has bene going on for sometime now, and I am still to fragile and have feelings for him, so do respond to him, as it;s always nice to see that he;s ok. It seems he does not want me to move on, but also does not want to be my proper BF again. Please can someone explain why he persists with this kind of behaviour? The relationship is null and void, and I have refused to see him on a number of occassions, as I don;t want to have sex with him with no real relationship. What is going on with this guy? as it doesn;t seem he is just after me for sex anymore, as sometimes he just chats away with me then goes off again. I still have strong feelings for him, so am finding it diffult. Thanks x
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello all, Thank you so much for taking the time to answer me. Deja Vu _ Sorry your situation has got to serious.I hope things improve and sort out soon for you. Female Anon - thank you for your asnwer and encouragement. It is a matter of him wanting to pick me up when he wants - and thanks for saying I have done well to avoid him. It's taken some doing!!Cerberus - Very interesting point you make there as to asking myself why I am, allowing him to do this to me? That;s a very insightful point, and one which I am now pondering on. It is something in me that has allowed this to continue, and I am determined to find out what it is, and change it, and no, I know I cannot let this continue. I;m not even allowing myself to move on , let alone him letting me move on. As each day passes, I am becoming stronger, although I do get my off and down days where I miss him and feel weak - and I am now bracing myself for another call or message from him which will come soon, and am working out how I am going to deal with it. I think to block him is best I won;t and can't let this go on - it;s been making me sad for a long time and I do deserve better. Thank you all :o) xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): ~DEJA VU~
Your situation is as mine...AND...while my ex was unaware, judicial authorities have been tracking, monitoring and documenting her relentless emotional abuse, stalking, harrassment and retaliatory behavior against me for months...AND...while related judicial authorities and additional professionals continually urged that I file charges of the afforementioned like against her, in addition to several other charges, I refrained for the welfare of her two children, as I too am a single parent of a child whom is my life...HOWEVER...my ex's behavior is only worsening as legal authorities have indicated that they will proceed with prosecution against her if I do not...I was informed of this information yesterday although I had concluded last night that I would file criminal charges against her based on my decision alone...My ex has presented an obvious threat, justifying the my fear of her behavior for the safety, health and welfare of my daughter, individuals in my life and myself. Today I authorized my attorney to promptly file said charges against her tomorrow and hopefully this will prove effective as it is URGENT. Equally, the district attorney will be filing charges against her on my behalf in addition to mandating extensive psychiatric inervention, as she not her psychological state present a danger to parties I referenced but to her children, herself and those who are in contact with her and society as well.
My advice, ask that she discontinue all contact with you...chances are she will only escalater as my ex has done sadfully placing you in the position as I.
Best of luck and God Bless.
~LIVE, LOVE and LAUGH~
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): Basically, he knows you still have feelings for him, or believes so. Its great to think that someone likes you and it gives you a power over them if you are a controlling sort of person. So he still wants to keep something going so he can feel that he can pick you up when he wants.You are doing so well avoiding him, keep it up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): That's an easy one, because he can. Because you let him, it really is a simple as that. You know he's controlling you, you know he wants to keep that control over you and he is keeping that control over you. End of story, done and dusted.
Do you like this? Do you like him continuing to control your life like this? If not then why do you let him? and no love is not an excuse, love is not worth being miserable so why do it?
This is all down to you, if you want him to stop you can easily make him stop but you don't want him to stop. So my advice? You know what he is doing and why he is doing it. The real question you should ask yourself is why you're letting him, I think when you find the answer to that you'll be able to sort this out. Because you know in your heart and in your head you can't let this go on.
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