A
male
age
30-35,
*Surferdude
writes:Hi all, to begin with, my situation just like alot of others is unique in a way, to begin with...back in early 2008, I had met a girl who is mutual friends with some friends of mine in a different circle. We pretty much hit it off as friends, steadily became close friends and then it was evident that we were falling for each other. We'd been friends for more than a year, she isn't my first girlfriend or love, but I am her first with everything. We began dating in summer of 2009, and things were going amazingly well though we saw each other say three times a week or so, as we were both busy in between. Anyway at first she seemed to cling to me and be engulfed into my life, she'd say how she wanted to know everything about me and how she'd never want me to basically leave her while we were spending time together. Things went sour from time to time due to my past as previously I had been in love once before and had my heart broken. Though she felt jealous as she wanted to be the one I fell in love with first, many complications followed and as of last summer, she had suddenly changed and I was hardly getting to see her or speak to her and I noticed a kind of sarcastic and blunt edge to her when ever we spoke online. Then came the break which was a joint decision, this was the hardest two weeks of my life thus far. You see I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and though my gf turns towards logic for most answers and I feel is afraid of her own emotions as previously she had never felt all these emotions. We're both at seperare uni's at the moment and Ive been to visit her and stay with her as we both expressed that we missed each other, as I mentioned I was her first for everything, though she had initiated every form of physical contact and always had felt she was so sure and that it was natural, when I went to visit her at uni the first time, we made love for the first time, it was beyond amazing and yet after I left she seemed to have changed again. She'd rarely message/call me and I was the one always initiating contact. Her replies were sparsely blunt. I'd complimented her told her I missed her and she wasn't entirely sure how to reply which I've always been fine with, though she'd say the same things to me and she hadn't been like this before. I fell in lobe for her personality, her innocence, her intelligence, her cuteness and I had come to the conclusion she was infact a beautiful young woman who I loved. She isn't the prettiest of girls in appearance and though I've tended to be handsome and good looking to people, it had bugged her before, moreso my past. Throughout all of this I have given her space an in between shown her I'm right there, though I don't seem to understand why she's doing this. I stood up for myself for the first time a month ago and did so again last night, I know she is physically an mentally attracted to me beyond what I can imagine, yet she pushes herself away from me, really all I want is to see her when I can, speak to her when we get time, be her friend, her love and the best in the person that I am.I'm feeling that I'll keep walking on and doing my own thing in obtaining my degree, as will she. Clearly this is bothering her just as much as it is bothering me and she doesn't know how to open up. Personally I think a negative influence and relatives are having an effect on her.If i've come this far and waited on, I won't just give up, no no way.What's your take on this?Feedback is muchly appreciated, ciao!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011): Is she seeing someone else?Because if she is...she's confused and if she's confused...she's not into you...atleast for the moment.Even if she's single...she seems to be blowing hot and cold...maybe its a trust issue...did you ever do anything to make her feel insecure? Or talk a lot about the number of girls you have been with?If she thinks you are just a player...she may not be able to trust you and that's why she keeps on running away.The best thing for now, would be to let her go...date other people.Who knows...maybe down the line you guys will meet again...:) But it seems like she just wants to be alone...All the best :)
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