A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im an 18 year old virgin. My problem is that i can only get aroused by fantasy/imagination... as in imagining myself having sex with certain people that im involved with.. however, when I am actually with them, I just cant get aroused for some reason! Theres something wrong with me! And if i just remember the things we did [kissing,touching, etc] i get so easily aroused!! How can I fix this?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2012): Hi I have the exact same problem touch doesn't get me aroused. I have the same feelings towards kissing it's purely romantic and I don't get any pleasure from it. I presumed this was everyone's thoughts until I was about 18 and I just said in passing to a group of my friends that its not even that nice.the response from everyone was shock that I didn't feel anything! I hadn't had sex with a guy at that stage but when I did try I felt nothing when he attempted to arouse me. I came to the same conclusion that touch deflates my sex drive.I've been trying since to practice arousing myself through touch but it's not working. If anyone has come through this please offer some advice!I'm still a virgin and I've had two failed relationships because of this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2012): I know it's been a very long time since this question was posted, but if by any chance anyone is still reading/checking this thread... Can anyone explain why this is happening? I'm going through the exact same situation and it's really confusing and I don't believe any of these answers are addressing the question at hand. It's extra confusing for me, because my sexual orientation is ambiguous to begin with...Question asker, did you end up resolving this issue with time? Could you share your experience? :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008):
I don't have an answer for you but I can tell you that I suffer from the same thing. I,m a 25 year old male virgin because I can only get aroused through imagination or pictures. Iv'e only kissed a girl before but that's because kissing to me is only romantic; there is nothing sexual about it to me. I soon had to break up with her because I couldn't give her what she wanted--sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno, its not like that at all! Maybe I mean that i cant get aroused by TOUCH, when it comes down to the deed. It seems that I can only get aroused if i think back at my previous make-out sessions or whatever, which is very weird. I dont think about famous people, or anyone else, I fantasize about my partner, I just cant get aroused with him/anyone PHYSICALLY only through imagination
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 I think initially that we all are a bit self-conscious about our sex lives and how our minds work. The largest sexual organ is the brain. Sex is entirely between the ears! And I think as women, we all have this little guilty thing about having sexual fantasies and using them in our sex lives. We feel guilty if we do because we tell ourselves that we are "good girls" and we should only being turned on by our partners, and only "bad girls" are turned on by something other than your partner, that somehow having fantasies is "wrong" or is like being promiscuous. Nonsense. Everyone has fantasies. Everyone uses them in bed too! And if you haven't heard it before, you are hearing it now! AND if there is some goody-two-shoes around you who is telling you that they don't do this, and that "I only ever think about my boyfriend, they are the only person that turns me on..." Well, the polite term is Horsefeathers. That's nonsense. The number one porn that women like is animation and fantasy porn, so I guess it's not uncommon for women to have fantasies and to use fantasy in their sex lives. So, Dear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you and you don't love you boyfriend any less by having sexual fantasies, it makes you 100% normal like the rest of us.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 When you are doing it with them , use your imaginations/fantasies.. There is no harm . Many people do that. When they are doing it , they are imagining they are sleeping with the famous actor or actresses.It brings out the best in them.Men and women are known to do that to spice up their sex life.
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