A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:My ex-boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me about two months ago. The reason we broke up was because he lost his feelings for me. Recently we had a conversation where he said we can't be together if our goals/ wants are different. So i asked him what his goals/wants are. He said he is still searching for them but he knows that he does not want for us to be together.I know I need to let go of this relationship. But I just can't figure out why is it that he doesn't know about his life, but is so sure about our relationship? Is he going through a stage in his life? We're both in our early twenties
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female
reader, marieclaire  +, writes (31 October 2009):
 he doesn't love you, it hurts but he's trying to let you down gently instead of just coming out and saying it. i agree with satin, don't have contact with him, focus on your own life and you'll meet someone else soon enough
A
female
reader, quiet-echo  + ♥, writes (31 October 2009):
 satin said it perfectly.
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A
female
reader, cemoi  +, writes (31 October 2009):
Maybe he feels like you're jsut pushing for a long term commitment and despite not knowing anything else in his life, he knows he doesn't want to commit yet. let go of him. if he thought he'd made a mistake you'd know already.
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A
female
reader, satindesire  +, writes (31 October 2009):
 It seems like you're trying to find justification for your desire to not break up. Unfortunately, two people have to want to be together to make a relationship, and he doesn't. You can't want it enough for both of you.
Thing is, goals and wants are a lot harder to see and be positive about than feelings. He may not know where his future is headed, but he KNOWS he does not love you anymore.
I'm sorry that your relationship turned out the way it did, but you have to let him go. Speaking to him after the breakup is not a good idea, since it'll just take you longer to get over him the more contact you have with him.
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