A
female
age
36-40,
*weetheart03
writes:I met this guy a week ago through friends since I just got out a bad relationship. He's 20, I'm 23. He's never been in a relationship, no girlfriend at all. We have seen each other about 4 times in 7 days and 2 times he made plans, and he didn't show because he feel asleep. He wakes up at 6 and is at school all day so I understand, but he doesn't call much and he's just so layed back, that's how he is my friends said! What do I do? We kissed and he likes me he said, but why is he so distant? I wanna leave him alone but I like him.
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female
reader, spirited +, writes (7 April 2008):
I think at 23 and coming from a relationship, you have very different priorities than he does. You are a woman, with a life and a job, and goals... and he is a college kid just breaking in. A three-year difference at this stage of life is too big a gap for two people, especially you being the older of the two. I don't mean to be stereotypical, but if he isn't excited about you now, he won't be later. This is supposed to be the most exciting part of a relationship, "hooking up"!
I can understand coming from a bad relationship you are looking for someone to take the "bad taste out of your mouth". I can uderstand, I was in an abusive relationship... and you scrap around looking for something to make you happy. You want someone to treat you like you weren't treated, but it doesn't seem this is the guy to do it.
Whenever you see him, be nice... all that good stuff. Let him get all hot & bothered over you but don't wreck your brain over him. Let him wreck his brain over you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): sweetheart,03, he may be "layed back", or he may have been there before and is not enthusiastic about a new relationship yet. He sounds like the studious type, which is not a bad thing. It means he is planning for his future. He may also think you are not that serious since you are older. You might try going slow, but let him know you think he is pretty ok...When you see him, ask him about his plans and what he is interested in. Just let him know you are intersted and let things happen. It may or may not turn out, but, if you push too fast, he may be scared off. He has a lot of school in front of him and is naturally reserved about a serious relationship.
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