A
female
age
,
*eslie
writes:i've been dating for 5 months he always called me when he got up, and 3 to 4 times a day just to say he loved me he recenty moved to arizona (new job) and paid for me to join him i stayed a month it was for 2 weeks bur he wanted me to stay more time. it was great. when it was time for me to come back home i noticed he was kind of emotional, the day befor he did't want to have sex he just wanted to hold me and cuddle,at the airport he told me he loved me, but i noticed something strage, then he didn't call as he used to instead he just stop calling and started to email me. in his emails he always say he loves me and he told me that he has 9 mounths to go to be stable at his work first. why doesn't he want to call me as before? i always answer his e-mails, nice and cool, not emotional and even send him jokes. but i don't understand. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): This is weird. Maybe he is one of those guys so sensible he needs a strong control of his emotions. Look, I had this boyfriend once who was like that. He had to leave to the Air Force and didn't wanted to pack a picture of me with him just because it was 'too painful' for him. Now reflecting on that behavior I think it's not very healthy because these men need to lie to themselves as a defense mechanism. You see, they can't deal with their emotions that's why they have to pretend something that's not real. I bet he tries not to think about you too much. Maybe he doesn't want you to listen to him cry on the phone.
When my ex bf was about to leave to the military (weeks before) I noticed he sometimes started crying suddenly or at least giant tears rolled down his cheeks while he sat there without any expression on his face while we were at a concert or doing something fun together and he wouldn't tell me why. Obviously he was getting extremely emotional about his leaving but it was like too much drama for me.
I learned my lesson and I personally avoid extremely sensible men because they are weird and they may have other emotional issues deep inside that need to be worked on.
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