A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Engaged to a good man, dating over a year now. We have one serious issue and that's whenever we get into an argument he leaves. He doesn't leave the relationship, but just leaves and goes back to his house. I told the last time he did it, I couldn't handle it and he swore to not do it again, and to stick it out. When he leave it makes me feel like he can't handle things when it gets hard. He left again, called a little while later to say he wasn't leaving the argument that he just had to go home. I'm really heartbroken that he'd just leave while I was at home really upset telling him he broke my heart. He hasn't called at all today and now I'm really reconsidering if he'll be able to handle marriage. Anyone go through something similar and can give me some good advice?
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female
reader, bittersweetmemory  +, writes (11 June 2011):
 my ex always left in the middle of a disagreement..but his reason was that he hated to argue with me because he knew it hurts both of us..he never wanted us to have arguments...we had only a very few though which was awesome..
eventually his reasons were that his parents were fighting a lot and when he was small he saw that, also he did fight with his brother as well often before and he hated it because he felt it's breaking his heart...i come from a family where arguments and fights are daily so i could totally understand him ..but still it made me be upset whenever he left...
did you try asking about something like this? maybe he has the very same reason?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): It wouldn't be a very happy situation being married to him, so you need to sort it out first.
Try to find out what makes him run off from arguments and find a way through it, and if you can't, go to couples counselling.
I hope this can be resolved and you will be happy. It takes a long time to know someone and some would say you never really know a person till you live with them, so let's hope this can be resolved and that in turn will help you in the future with any other problems.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): I think that you're husband is under the misconception that if you don't have the fight the relationship will last longer. Because if he leaves who'r u gonna figh t with?? But this is very dangerous however as if u just bury the fights they will all resurface eventually and the problem will be even greater. Eventually all the fights will explode out at a time when he can't excape and then you two will be done for. I think you should alert him to this fact and work each problem out individually. It is best if u face the problem together and remember the great old saying. 'A stitch in time saves nine!'
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): Honey hangin there. Sometimes he's walking away because he knows that fighting with you hurts both of you. He may just need time to cool off and approach you differently and not so hostile. He loves you enough to spend the rest of his life with you so don't get too upset when he stops fighting because in the end if you can still talk about your issues rationally instead of fighting then maybe that's better. Good luck to you.... I know how you feel and how he feels I lost my fiancé because of a fight I should have walked away from.
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