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Why does he keep bringing up his ex? I feel like I'm competing with a cheater.

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 August 2013) 1 Answers - (Newest, 9 August 2013)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Should I be angry?

Me and my husband talked about our past and he told me that if I weren't in the picture he was going to steal back one of his ex (his first love) from the guy she dated at the time. This girl tried to get back with him too many times before but he ignored her cause she cheated on him with her current boyfriend she was the only girl that really hurt him so much to the point he refuse to date anyone seriously for couple of years until he met me. He told me also if I weren't in the picture he's not going to be faithful to anyone and he's not going to get married right now he's just gonna sleep around.

I don't understand why he was so crazy about this girl cause whenever he talks about her there's nothing good about it, he gets angry and I can tell he really liked this girl. They broke up cause he wanted to date her the right way and he didn't wanted to sleep with her until marriage but the girl wanted to have sex so bad (virgin) she cheated on him with another guy that wanted to have sex with her.

When I met my husband I was 24 and still a virgin but we had sex not long we dated, I wonder why his ex is so special? She keeps sending FB messages to him when we start dating wanting to hang out...he told me to reply to her soooo instead of replying to her I forward her message to her boyfriend and tell him to keep his girlfriend in check and I don't believe in friendship after a bad breakup. Next day he reply back apologizing for her behavior he said she was so angry and that they talked and its not going to happen again. Did I do the right thing?

My husband told me I changed him to be a good man cause he was having a hard time trusting women...we got 2 kids now and were happy, but I'm still bothered when he told me if I weren't in the picture he's going to get back with his ex that hurts him so much?? Should I talked to him about it? If I do he's going to get angry cause he said her cheating on him was the best thing that ever happened to him cause now he got a beautiful wife that loves him and 2 beautiful children. But still I did not like the fact he mentioned her at all I feel like I'm competing with a cheater....any advice? :(

View related questions: broke up, his ex, still a virgin

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2013):

Hi there.

Kindly review the summary of your story.

Your husband said: (about his ex)

1.(His ex) she cheated on him

2. he gets angry and I can tell he really liked this girl.

3. she was the only girl that really hurt him so much to the point he refuse to date anyone seriously for couple of years until he met you.

4.They broke up cause he wanted to date her the right way and he didn't wanted to sleep with her until marriage but the girl wanted to have sex so bad (virgin) she cheated on him with another guy that wanted to have sex with her.

Now let's review his words about you:

1. if you weren't in the picture he was going to steal back one of his ex (his first love) from the guy she dated at the time

2. he refuse to date anyone seriously for couple of years until he met you.

3. Your husband told u that YOU changed him to be a good man cause he was having a hard time trusting women...we got 2 kids now and were happy

4. Lastly, he said, her cheating on him was the best thing that ever happened to him cause now he got a beautiful wife that loves him and 2 beautiful children.

So who's the winner? YOU

if your husband wants to be with her, he had a chance before. remember you said she keeps contacting him and trying to win him back. but He CHOSE YOU.

if he wanted her he should have been with her a long time ago. its just some silly thing you have in your head.

But on the other hand, I sincerely understand you.

I'm a woman too, so I know how it feels. talk to him and tell him, to give you a little respect by not mentioning her in any conversation you have with him because it nauseates you.

Tell him the truth, she is nauseating you.

why? you love him, its silly but your a woman in love and it still affects you.

i'm sure he will never mention about her again.

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