A
male
age
30-35,
*ultuz
writes:A girl added me on Facebook about 1 and a half week ago. I live about 1 hour away from the capital (with plans to move there soon) so we kept touch via Facebook for that 1 and a half week. We really clicked, on Facebook at least, so naturally, I thought that we would in-real-life as well. WHICH WE TOTALLY DID. I invited her to dinner, a rather expansive one seeing as I had a lot of experience with her personality, I wanted to go all-in on this one.On the day of the date, there was a rather vicious storm with wind gusts far exceeding Sandy, actually. Trucks were rolling off the highway and houses were being demolished by this storm (I live VERY far north in Europe). I wasn't going to miss this date for ANYTHING so I drove all the way to the capital, through the storm, and when I got home my mother thought I was insane. (If you are reading this and you live with 'normal' conditions, then you will probably think more of this than it is. We are very used to extreme weather but it is still quite a 'feat').I suppose I really liked this girl.Anyways, I pick her up and we go to our date, a very popular and fun restaurant.We're both very loose personalities so we joke around with the food and the tight-up people, pretty much everything. We laugh SO much that I couldn't believe I was on a FIRST date. I felt like we had been married for years, so to speak.I walk up to the cashier to pay seeing as I didn't want her to see how much the food actually cost as it would make me look pretty desperate because it was rather expansive, especially since I had put a 'twist' consisting of lobster and stuff in between the 6 dishes. I just really wanted to take her out on a SERIOUS date because I felt I knew her already.Anyways, I drive her home and when we reach her house I want to kiss her and she starts lingering so I kind of figure she wants too... But we both kind of freeze and she hugs me really fast so that when I leaned in for a kiss, I had to dodge right away in order to not get headbutted in the face.I didn't think too much of it, I mean, I could kiss her anywhere any time. We could go on a 2nd date the day after. We obviously clicked anyways. Just a pair of cold feet on both of our side. I made sure to send her an SMS as soon as I got home, telling her that I had never enjoyed myself so much on a first date, just to make sure she didn't think I disliked her because of the no-kiss thing.However, after the date she doesn't initiate a conversation on Facebook anymore. She went out all night and doesn't send me any messages or anything. When I strike up the conversation she seems dull and doesn't even say bye when she goes to do some obviously more important things than discuss the date with a guy she's been talking to for nearly two weeks.She had seen all my pictures and I am better looking in real life than on pictures. I don't see this being a appearance issue. I didn't do anything wrong on the date. No sensitive subjects, no controversial subjects, no ex talk etc. Strictly fun and she was enjoying herself, I know she was.Girls...Why is this happening? What is she doing?Thanks!
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male
reader, Cultuz +, writes (4 November 2012):
Cultuz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. That's probably it. First time this happens to me. Really weird.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2012): she's not doing anyhing. she just wasn't feeling the date nearly the way that you were. us women are really good at putting on a front and acting like we had a great time, so that we don't hurt your feelings. which is awful because then we wind up leading you on and confusing the hell out of you. but that's the idea behind it, at least. to spare your feelings.
it's very black and white with women. just as it is with men. sometimes we try to over-analyze things because we don't want to face the simple truth. but human actions are very simple. if she liked you, she would have let you kiss her. and if she liked you, she would talk to you and text you and fb you. there's no hidden psychology going on here and she's not playing hard to get to try to make you pursue her. she's just not interested. something happened on the date that made it not go so well for her like it did for you. or that she thought you two clicked just as friends. you may have seemed desperate, or moved too fast, or maybe she just didn't think you two clicked the way you thought you did. it could be any number of things. but the bottom line is this. it's not going to work. she's not interested. i'd let it go and leave this girl alone. blowing up her fb or phone will only make her push you away even more and just make you look desperate and clingy.
i'm sorry this happened. you'll meet the right girl who you connect with like that and those feelings will be reciprocated, as well.
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