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Why can't I hold down a relationship?

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Question - (11 October 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 11 October 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Why can't I hold down a relationship?

I'm 22 and I've never had a relationship that has lasted more than 2 months. I'm not seriously unhappy being single but I'm starting to worry that now all my friends have had at least one serious relationships there must be something wrong with me. Especially when the boys I've dated have all been in or go on to be in long term relationships. So if it obviously isn't them it must be me.

I have no problem attracting men but they just never like me enough to want to stick around. I don't think it's to do with sex because I've tried both waiting for months and just going for it. Either way the result is always the same.

Its making me question whether I have a personality at all. Maybe I am just no fun to be around. I guess I would just like to know that I have something about me enough that one day maybe somebody will really fall for me.

A

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2012):

Unless you come across as a jealous, clingy, or suffocating person, and generally display behavior that pushes guys away in relationships, then you probably just haven't found the right guy yet.

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A female reader, Bria101 United States +, writes (11 October 2012):

Bria101 agony auntYou know I used to feel the same way.

Guys liked me but never actually wanted to be with me long enough to build something.

I felt as though I was just unlucky in love and that there was something amiss with me.

I watched my friends have gfs, bfs and some have already gotten married. And again, I felt as though I didn't have a chance in hell to find that.

But...after a while I told myself that enough was enough! I was making myself miserable by comparing my love life, or lack thereof, to my friends'...so I just decided that if I didn't meet the right guy? well, too bad. I could at least enjoy being single. And there are perks to being single, you just have to find them for yourself.

Don't compare yourself to others, that's how people fall into depression.

I'm not looking for a guy, still not looking...but I'm happy because I focus on and enjoy others parts of my life.

Good Luck!

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (11 October 2012):

kenny agony auntThere is nothing wrong with you atal, you just simply have not found the right guy thats all. So you have tried relationships, they have not worked out, so has half the population too. Don't make it a desperate rush to meet someone, i assure you that your time will surely come, and probally when you least expect it. When a relationship breaks up, take positives things from it, a learning curve, rather than thinking there is something wrong with you. Try going to different places, places other than bars and clubs, evening classes in something you really enjoy, the gym, something where you share the same interests. I assure you someone will certainly fall for you in a big way, just don't rush it, be joyous, enjoy life and go with the flow and it will happen.

Good luck

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