A
female
age
18-21,
*el_h_90
writes:i am in a great relationship with my boyfriend..however when we have sex it's great it feels so good, however i cannot seem to cum ever!i've tried so many different things its unbelievable.i get moist when he plays with me and when we have sex however do not cum. i'm 19 years old do u think im too young still or theres something wrong.can someone help me please and advise something. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM  + ♥, writes (21 October 2009):
 Allow me to totally agree with "satindesire" that female cumming, also known as "squirting," is actually rare and unnecessary to female orgasm. However, as a man who has for more than 45 years been in intimate proximity to a woman's vulva during their orgasms (typically during cunnilingus), I've usually been aware of and tasted at least a minimal release of fluid being emitted.
But it's nothing like a squirt. I know that it is in addition to the release of natural lubricant, as it appears from the urethra rather than the vagina, and only during a very intense orgasm with most women. In addition to the rapid contractions, throbbing, and other sensations well-described, you may feel a false need to urinate as you near orgasm. You will learn to ignore this, as it is usually just a natural sensation leading you to release (thereby climax). At that point, just let go and enjoy.
A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (20 October 2009):
 No, you do not need to 'cum'. 'Cum' is slang for 'orgasm', so when you have an orgasm, you are 'cumming'.
On a side note, I hate that term and that spelling. Ugh. Makes me feel yuck just typing it.
Anyway, don't take what you think YOUR body should do from porn movies. When porn starlets 'squirt' fluids, it's usually faked, they're urinating 99% of the time. A woman does NOT have to 'squirt' any liquid at all to have an orgasm. Most women do not, as a matter of fact.
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A
female
reader, mel_h_90 +, writes (20 October 2009):
mel_h_90 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes ive had some of those sensations, i think it's just im not trying for long enough. so up to now i know i can orgasm however when i have an orgasm do i need to cum aswell because i have never done that.
thank you for replying
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A
male
reader, DoubleM + ♥, writes (16 October 2009):
Well I think that oral stimulation (cunnilingus) would solve this issue if he learns how to do it.
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A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (15 October 2009):
An orgasm is typically defined as a 'peak' in pleasure followed swiftly by multiple, rapid, reflexive contractions of the genital area, often characterized by women as a "intense rushing, pulsing feeling" or a "jumping" or "throbbing" sensation with that intense peak in pleasure. After that, the desire for further stimulation usually pretty rapidly fades and a feeling of sexual satisfaction, relaxation or even sleepiness happens...unless a woman is multi-orgasmic, then a woman may still feel the desire for further stimulation until she has had enough orgasms to feel satisfied.
If you have never experienced ANY of these sensations, then you have not had an orgasm.
Some women take much longer than others to reach orgasm. I've taken up to an hour of direct stimulation by a vibrator before, before I could reach orgasm. I am not always difficult to bring to orgasm, but it does take me a little longer than most women usually.
Are you giving up after just a few minutes? Have you tried stimulating yourself for much longer?
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A
female
reader, mel_h_90 +, writes (15 October 2009):
mel_h_90 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell thanks for answering me..
yes i do know were my clitoris is. i sometimes masturbate and i use toys sometimes before having sex with my boyfriend honestly i think ive tried everything i just dont know what else to do. i dont know weather ive had an orgasm however it feels good just dont know whether i have...
could you help with that information?
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A
male
reader, DoubleM + ♥, writes (14 October 2009):
Well "satindesire" gets to the point and always offers great advice, but I'll cut closer to the chase here. Your boyfriend needs to learn a lot more about satisfying a woman, regardless of age. There is a tremendous amount of information about inducing female orgasm in this Web site's archives.
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A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (14 October 2009):
Well, before I can help you with that, you'll have to give me some more information.
Do you know what and where your clitoris is? Do you masturbate, and have you ever had an orgasm before? Have you shown and taught your boyfriend what and where your clitoris is and how important it is for your sexual pleasure? Do you stimulate your clitoris with your own hand or with a sex toy during intercourse, or do you and your boyfriend expect you to orgasm from penetration alone?
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