A
male
age
30-35,
*aithful01
writes:Dear Cupid, Why is it that if a girl turns down sex with someone she just met it is seen as normal, but if a guy turns down sex then the girl gets really upset and/or thinks that he is gay? I dont like sleeping with girls I dont know properly but they dont seem to believe this - probably cause of the male stereotype - and think if I turn them down im not interested or attracted to them. help please! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): You need different girls.
They are out there. Maybe you're not doing the right things to end up coming across them, but they do exist.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): I think the reason behind the general behaviour of men and women regarding sex is the difference between what sex can mean to a man and a woman. Though these ideas dont hold in this modern era, it may be still having an effect in the backs of our minds. For a man sex means only a few moments of pleasure and nothing else. For a woman it can mean, additional to the moments of pleasure, 9 months of pregnancy and then a baby to take care of for years to come. So they have to be careful. That is why guys are expected to readily accept it and girls are expected to act responsibly when offered sex I think. But who cares? You just be yourself and dont give a damn.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): I just gotta know, what part of the country do you live in?I dunno it's pretty rare to see guys like you. I wouldn't call it stereotyping, but just a general truth, general being that there are exceptions, you are one of them.Of course though for moral reasons most guys turn down sex depending on the situation. The women you were with who said that to you probably have esteem issues when you turn them down - and confused maybe because they may be very pretty.
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A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (5 March 2009):
 Where can I find these girls??? I won't to know.. .... so I can stay clear.
These girls have issues. just as guys who call girls sluts and whores after they reject them. As far as these girls go, you are better off leaving them alone and not getting to know them. They have self-esteem issues and/or tend to be controlling. If things don't go their way, they attack you to make themselves feel better. It can be a very emotional drain on yourself. It's definitely not worth any sex you get out of it. And I would have no doubts, that you should head down to the clinic afterwards if you do.
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (5 March 2009):
Where ever you are meeting these girls stop going. The girls you are meeting are sluts with no self esteem. You turn them down they get burnt and fell poorly about them selves and then take it out on you. Me and my friends tend to like me with very little or no experience because its more special and very low chance of STDs. Hang out some where nicer because most girls dont think that way.
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (5 March 2009):
 Martini ... you crack me up LOL
To the original poster, I hope your question merely reflects that you were totally clueless about women. Guess what, go to that corner and join the club (of clueless men) LOL
Just take it easy, dude!
The key word you used is "stereotype" which in itself, is a flawed concept. Every single person in this world of billions and billions and billions of peopoe is a unique individual. That includes you. And her. And her. And him. And yes, them too.
There is an easy answer to your questio (if there indeed was one in there somewhere), i.e. fIf you don't like the girl, don't lead her on". Problem solved.
Relax and enjoy your life!
Cat
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A
female
reader, alyxluce +, writes (5 March 2009):
I think that girls who egg on sex and than turns around and calls the guy gay when he says no is ridiculous. Some girls are just sluts who love to have sex 247 and just test to see which guys they can get they're hands on. so dont fall into they're traps. wait for the right person & the right time. it will definatly be worth it. good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): Which part of the boonies do you live in?
I have very rarely come across such views with any man or woman in my lifetime so far.
So let me get this straight: what is it that you need help on? I read your thread two and a half times and I can't find the problem you need help with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): Well not all woman are like this and it is good that you are discriminating enough to get to know a woman first before you become intimate with her. But for a woman to offer sex and for you to turn her down instantly makes her feel like she is unattractive to you. She figures that all men are looking for a chance to get an easy lay and if a woman offers herself she is certain to get a positive response. So, all this is about her not about you. Make it clear that it is just too soon and that you want to take the time to get to know her. If that is not good enough then leave her alone and go your own way.
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