A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Just wondering in general why do people say things like "im not in love with you anymore" or "i dont have feelings for you anymore" or "i know what im doing and i know what i want" only to later say they didnt mean any of it..or, there actions dont show it.Particularly in the case of an ex. Well in the case of my ex he is really stubborn and he is in another relationship already (rebound) but, he is really stubborn and wont contact me, but just about a month ago he was saying he loves me everyday (while with her) and seeking my approval about things, telling me about family life and very personal things (you only tell that to people you have a bond with) and i dont want to contact him while he is in a new relationship i want to give him space, but he has a pattern of pushing me away and then contacting me for some reason or another and then gets mad if i ignore him. I think i find that while guys pursue another girl they push there ex away and then later when things dont go great or get a little rocky with the new girl they do everything to bring there ex back in.Anyway i guess i have a mutiple of questions but im just wondering why do ex's act this way? particularly guys but girls have been known to do it too. Why are they hot and cold a.k.a want you one minute then the next minute they dont want you at all and are so in love with there new partner, but then its only a matter of time before they repeat the cycle. Thanks for the help, maybe some of you guys out there can help with me this one.
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female
reader, curious0hot +, writes (4 February 2010):
 "im just wondering why do ex's act this way?"
Because (a) people are not drones; they have emotions which are subject to change, and (b) some like to keep as many options open as possible.
It is unfortunate you're allowing him to talk to you that way when he has a girlfriend. It is disrespectful to both of you women.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsometimes ex's in particular just say things they dont mean or so thats what they say later down the road. im sure he's feelings havent changed just like that but like i said guys in particular like to "push" who they love away. actually, i think that might be people in general who do that. they just push away ones they love..without intentionally knowing what there doing or meaning what there saying at the moment.
but i find this behavior more common in ex's they hate that person one minute, then they need them, with my ex hes been doing rather bad since we broke up (if i only knew it then) i know now, but he ACTED happy towards me said he didnt have feelings all of that. but ive found pictures of him smoking weed and drinking and he actually got into a fist fight with his brother, which he never did while we were together, it just seems like he has gone downhill and isnt at all happy with this new girl but he would never let me know that. My guess is eventually he is gonna break. Because he still hasnt delt with his pain.
Anyway, its not that i want him back-im just trying to understand his behavior and why he is hot and cold. or why ex's normally are in particular.
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (4 February 2010):
 Your saying { the first paragraph ] is so great, greater than your love story, it is this...'Just wondering in general why do people say things like "im not in love with you anymore" or "i don't have feelings for you anymore" or "i know what im doing and i know what i want" only to later say they didn't mean any of it..or, there actions don't show it.
Your maturer observation is admirable, but it is not specific about ex... as you have put, but it is about specific people, who choose to guide their life exclusively with their 'heart' and not with head. The ideal thing is this: Heart should follow head, but some people reverse the order, and then they feel wonder why bad thing happen with their life.
Well, you sound mature so you can and should make your terms clear, and fill it with confidence. But, please say me, what you read? In turn, I will suggest you some other good material.
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