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Why am I so jealous of other girls?

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Question - (14 June 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 26 June 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi,

I have this thing where i get really jelous of other girls.Im not ugly im a curvy 8-10 and have a wonderful boyfriend but sometimes i just hate the way i look.For example i can be getting ready for a night out and feel great about myself then when im at the club/pub etc i notice more attractive women and get this burst of anger in me that i just cant enjoy the evening and when i go home i just think about and want to cry.

Im going on holiday in august and i have a week planned at the beach with my boyfriend and the last time we went away together i spent the whole week miserable as i keept comparing myself to other women and then i kept snapping at my BF for no reason-he never even looked at them!

I was wondering if anyone is in my situation or any helpful hints to get over this as its driving me crazy.

Thanks

x

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A female reader, Me0769 Canada +, writes (26 June 2012):

Me0769 agony auntI am the exact same way! I dread going places for those same reasons..and constantly compare.

Even scope out places. We have to avoid certain shows or movies because I get angry and feel bad about myself that I cannot compare to the way Hollywood or television..magazines etc. Make everyone so perfect. Hate the thought of my boyfriend fantasizing or idolizing another woman..especially if she's not teal.

And omg if she is an actual woman in a store or walking down road..I dread him seeing her!

I have always had a touch of jealousy. But never this bad.

I am not ugly am pretty I am told. But I do not see it and am 20lbs heavier than was when met my boyfriend. Sorry not an answer here would love some advice myself before I go crazy. It is nice to know I am not the only one feeling this way. Maybe can help each other..

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A female reader, emmajane22x United Kingdom +, writes (2 June 2009):

i am exactly the same it destoys my life and makes me feel like shit i wont let my fell a watch things on tellie and i flip wen were out if he is looking at a girl and it truly upsets me and its not like am ugly or nothing am a size 10 and five foot 3 with daRK HAIR AND BLUE EYES JUST SICK OF ALL THE OTHETR GIRLS WHO HE HASV TO LOOK AT

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2008):

I feel exactly the same way. But the only difference is that I don't have a man. Listen UP! Everyone has insecurities, even the "beautiful" women yu see in the club have insecurities and they feel like they don't look that good too and sometimes they arent very happy either. The women in the club may even look at you and be like DANG shes happy... and look at me. So feel good about yourself, hold your head up high and be CONFIDENT honey.. Yo man is right by your side.. He doesnt want them obviously if hes with you! BE HAPPY! [Real women have curves!]

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008):

OMG I feel exactly the same. I was eating dinner with my boyfriend and his friends and they brought their girlfriends. And one guy was talking about how beautiful his girlfriend was and she was. I felt and feel sooo jealous and I don't know why I always want to be the better looking one. I haven't found a way to get rid of this feeling but I know that it is ridiculous to feel this way. You just have to look the best you can and work with what you have and thats all you can do.

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A female reader, yourwifey United States +, writes (16 June 2008):

i just went to the beach with my hubby and i feel a little chubby but try and ignore it if he doesnt look hen suck it up like i did and have fun with him at the beach! like i don like just being in my bathing suit but i did it so you can! it gets less bad but i do the same thing comparing myself but he loves me and doesnt even notice anyone else so it makes me feel better.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008):

I think tom is right on point.It sounds like a small personal ploblem that you should probibly take care of before it becomes a bigger problem.If you are snapping at your BF how do you think he starts feeling around you out in public.Im just saying don't push him over the edge babe.Really not all guys only look for looks(amazing right).You're are an attractive loving female and your BF loves you and wants to be with you no one else.

Be strong and I hope evrything works out for you....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008):

Well, hon, it sounds like a totally personal problem to me. For one, you seem to be hung up on physical looks and you feel "inadequate" in some way. Do you think your BF, or all men, just rate women on their looks? I know, if you browse the women's mags, you might think so. But, babe, that is not all we look for in a woman we want to be with. Forget the other gals! Who is your BF with? He is with you! He could be with someone else, but he is with you. Obviously, he sees something in you he does not see in some other woman. Is he being fooled? Are you someone he really would not want to know? Lighten up, babe. Be an interesting and loving person that BF obviously believes you are. Otherwise, since he wants to be with you instead of those "other", more beautiful women, he must not have much judgement,...right?

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