A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear agony aunts and uncles,I've got a problem: I'm single for over 2 years now and struggling with finding someone new. I'm scared about a new relationship for various reasons, the biggest reason is I don't want to live through a sexually frustrating relationship anymore. My last relationship lasted 5.5 years and my partner was very conservative when it came to sex. I was a virgin before we met but I quickly realized I'm very playful and have some special desires and fetishes. I suffered a lot, not just because my wishes were never fulfilled, but also because I felt like a freak and like my sexual wishes destroyed our relationship. I can get along with routine sex, although it's not really what turns me on the most. What I really like is role play, female domination (I like to be the boss ;)), cross dressing (which means I like to dress guys up as girls and then pretend we're lesbians) and others. I only got to do these things with some people I met online, but in the end, it was just sex and I would like to have a relationship again. A relationship AND a happy sex life. Do you think a "regular" guy would be open enough to try these things with me or do you think I need to start dating in the fetish scene? Any advice on how to open up to a date about this? Where to find a nice guy with similar preferences in bed? Do you think I should try to give up on those wishes? Thanks for any advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear agony aunts,
Thanks a lot for your answers.. well I think it won't be easy for me, from what I can tell from my experience and your posts. But still I won't lose hope and maybe try another dating strategy :)
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 November 2012):
 Well you say you met a few people from the internet yet you want a relationship not just a good sex life, which is completely fair. I think the best way to go about it is to leave your fantasies at the back of your mind until you properly get to know someone. You should only share it with a guy you feel that you can trust and that you are dating and have got to know quite well. The reason I say this is there is more of a chance of having a relationship than it just being about sex. It is hard to find a person who is in to the same things as you sometimes I guess but you would be surprised really once you get to know someone just how compatible you are!
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A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (21 November 2012):
 I've read enough questions like this to realise it's pretty pointless meeting a vanilla guy and trying to get him into your kinks. Also, from what I understand fetishes can be more of a need than simply a preference so you might not be able to simply give them up. Therefore it makes more sense to meet someone in the fetish community.
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