A
male
age
30-35,
*othic landscaper
writes:i'm in a relationship with someone. the relationship is almost a year old now and i am not sure how to end it. I would like to not hurt her to bad but i can't quite bring myself to just say "This isnt working out." Her family is well downhome hillbilly and have no qwames about using the 22 on me. theres nothing wrong with this girl, and id be lieing if i said this was her fault. I come from a military family and we settled in to this new place for 3 years now and i got comfortable and forgot that my lifestyle is not suited for relationships. I am 19 and well this is my first relationship. I got to lax when we moved last and i met this girl and now after a year together ive got to move again. I dont want to drag her out of her lifestyle and i have no interest in long distance relationships. She has really no ambitions when it comes to her career and her life is day by day. I dont to be with someone like that and i dont want to drag her into my lifestyle. Im not a stable man at all and im well aware of that, i also made this clear when we met. This goes against all that i am and my reputaion but i could use a little help. How do i make it clear that this relationship has to end? How do i do this without hurting her more than i have to? I should include that this relationship has never reached the point of s*x, and i really dont need people telling me that i need to stop doing it with this person.
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ambition, long distance, military Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Liza999  +, writes (23 June 2010):
 Break ups are always hard to do and unfortunately she will be hurt no matter how you say it but the point is that you do! There is really no way for you to make it clear it is over unless you ...well make it clear :) This may be bad advice but I think pointing the finger at yourself and not her tends to alleviate some tension. You have mentioned some valid points and I think sharing them with her will help her understand that it wasn't really anything she could have done to prevent this. This is your first relationship, Your not sure if you can do long distance,you don't feel stable at the moment, you don't want to take her out of her lifestyle and you just need time on your own. Be warm about it support her when she gets upset and try to look as distraught as possible ( awe that wasn't very nice, but it works ;)
A
female
reader, soccerlover1000 +, writes (23 June 2010):
 ok well the best way to let her down easy...Im not saying that she will be upset... but you should just say 'i think we need to be friends' then she will get all upset that its over and she will probly go crying to her friends but that ok bucause she will get over it and move on and you can still be friends. You could also say ' i dont think we shouold go out anymore' then she will say 'why?' then you should lightley say 'because im just not right for you and i dont want to have a long distance relationship' then she will start crying and then you should say ' i hope that we can still be friends and i know that another man will ask you out as soon as i leave' then she should forgive you and then you can just go on with your life and she can go on with hers
Hope i could have helped send me a message if you have any other quistions and i would really like to know how she took it!
SOCCERLOVER1000
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