A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have this guy friend who I spend most of the time with since we talk (and text) a lot about personal stuffs, random things, experiences, and all sorts of problems (especially about his family and this girl he's been going out with who is kinda immature). Well, he does most of the talking since his life was a mess! (really3x complicated!) We were that close and we kinda got used with each others company. To make the long story short, it came to a point that we started kissing, hugging.. and even ended up in bed. After that, it made us even closer and we've been doing this frequently that a lot of people asked what the real score is. We just kept telling them that we're just "close friends". He also told me that he loves me, and I felt the same way. He would let me go and hang out with him and his friends (frequently) and even met his dad although he didn't introduce us formally (they weren't that close). I kinda know his world already since he shares a lot. So one day, I asked him what am I to him, he said, "You're the love of my life!" I asked again since I wasn't convinced by his answer. He looked away, exhaled and answered questioningly, "friends??". My world collapsed and I don't know what to do already. But he kisses me (passionately) a lot especially on the head and tells me he loves me. We even have pet names, I mean we were like together already, it's just the title as "boyfriend-girlfriend" which is missing. And I wanted everything to stop since I don't know where all of this is going but he wouldn't let me. He said he doesn't wanna lose me and that he's happy when I'm with him. I just don't know what to do anymore because it kinda hurts that we do all these things but we're not in a relationship. Help!P.S. He's not seeing anyone else either, the immature girl I mentioned earlier? They stopped seeing and communicating with each other.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): You see, he's gonna be working (next year) in a ship and he'll be away for 9 months. He doesn't like the idea that he's leaving me and his heart with me because it might affect his working performances and his behavior. That's what he said to me, and that he's afraid that he can't go because he wouldn't want to leave me. It's somehow sweet but I think this is going nowhere, pointless I guess! I don't know. But we do love each other, do you think that's enough??
-girl with confused guy-
A
male
reader, Ven +, writes (19 October 2010):
Talk to him again. Sit him down, and tell him you are seriously wanting to talk out exactly what you are. Tell him you are attracted to him, and want things to officially go to the next level. Don't just leave it an open-ended question for him to answer or he will joke around again. He knows you aren't just friends. If he wants to keep it casual, tell him that emotionally you can't handle that and that you both need to back off each other.
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